Today we are talking about the truth about follow-up and what makes feminine and flowy sales actually work. I’m feeling fired up about this one. This has been coming up with a bunch of different clients in various containers. And I wanted to create a dedicated piece of content for you about this. Because quite frankly, I think there is a lot of noise in the online space right now about what it means to follow up in your business, what it means to have a process of follow up what follow up looks like, and what’s the difference between follow up and spammy?
Cold DMing people is for a lot of us. I think there is a really common theme up in the industry right now. Where we’re into a leaned-back feminine style business we’re into. There’s a lot of people who have great marketing, who make it seem there’s just nothing to do when it comes to sales. We just lean back and be in our vibe, and people just pay us tons of money.
Not to say that sales can’t look like that. I literally just posted a reel about clients who fell from the sky, never had any interaction with them before. They just showed up ready to go ready to buy multi five-figure sales. I am not here today to share a message that sales has to be hard or it has to be complicated, and that it really needs this push in masculine energy because it doesn’t.
However, I think that there is kind of a warped perception of what follow-up actually is about why in a sales process it’s actually such a beautiful thing to do. And I’m going to share some stories about that today. I want to unpack why I really think we need to get out of this misconception or isperceived notion of what it means to have a magnetic feminine brand and how follow-up fits into that conversation.
What Is A Follow-Up?
So here’s what I mean by follow up, I’m going to start by defining what I even mean here follow up is quite simply, if you have a conversation going with somebody whether that’s in the DMS whether that’s in the comment section, so lead a human a person who is interested in your offer but is either somehow on the fence has said I’m signing up right now and hasn’t you haven’t seen the signup come through for them, one of the things that I’m always sharing with my clients is how important it is for us to know our data to analyze analytics not to be so caught up in your analytics and so bogged down in your open rate and your click-through rate or whatever that it makes you paralyzed to take any further action.
One thing I’m constantly working with clients on is releasing the need to make those numbers mean anything about what gets to be possible for you in the future. If you saw my recent real what I’m talking about here, you literally can have people who whom you cannot track no matter how good your pixels are, no matter if you have a Facebook ads person or not, who are listening to you who are following your content, who are listening to your podcast, who are watching your replays.
It’s data that you just can’t have about who those people are that could fall out of the sky. But the best is knowing who is in your DMS, who is leaving comments and saying I want to do this. Is that who your warmest people are? The people who are in your universe, who are in your sphere, who want to be inside of your programs and if you don’t see a conversion from that, if you’re not seeing that person take the next step. if you have a lead or an inquiry or someone who fills out some sort of an application or whatever and then they don’t book their call.
There’s all sorts of different ways in which follow up becomes appropriate. There are all sorts of ways in a business where follow up is possible and yet the industry is really loud right now about just be in this Lean back vibe. Just be in your feminine magnetism, just be in your whatever attraction thing. Only when we do that are we aligned only when we do that are we attracting the highest possible people. Only when we do that are we truly in this integral way of doing sales? This is something that a lot of clients are coming to me with.
Let’s just cut straight to the chase. Follow-up is not Sharky masculine. spear hunting I feel there’s this energy this label that this femme flowy magnetic branding things to put on follow up and call it Sharky masculine, sleazy unaligned just going in for the juggler of the cash and not caring about people. bullshit, bullshit mama to quote Matthew McConaughey from How to Lose a Guy in 10 days bullshit okay not true. Follow up.
Follow-up is about connection. Follow up is about relationship. Follow up is about human to human knowing. Number one, it shows that you are a CEO who’s looking at your data who’s not just tracking leads in a freaking leads tracker inside an Excel spreadsheet, but who is connecting with humans, who is aware of the people in her sphere.
I will tell you I work with women at every stage of businesswomen who are just starting out and working up to their first six-figure year. Women who are literally already at seven figures and scaling to multiple seven figures. I work with women at every stage of the game. I have offers and programs for people at every stage of the game.
Personal Examples Of Why Follow-Ups Are Needed
I will tell you that for different reasons we need to stop making this assumption that the only thing in the world that they have going on is whether or not to buy our program. I know this and I will share examples of this for me.
I have been followed up by photographers by stylists by even a coach of mine as a personal coach postpartum coach in the throes of early motherhood and for different things I have been followed up even for a mastermind that I committed to at the end of last year beginning of this year. A $20,000 mastermind. I was completely in and I literally forgot that I saw the invoice come through. I had another thing coming up and I needed the reminder not because I wasn’t a soul Fucking yes client, not because I wasn’t committed.
The Lies Being Told About Follows-Ups
Here’s the thing that I have a really big problem with. We are told in this industry that if a client doesn’t come back and they’re not just a soul Yes, and they’re not just a Fuck yes, here are my credit card details on the phone right now. Then either A) that client is bad or wrong. That client is a real nightmare client, they don’t have their shit together. They’re really irresponsible. They’re going to be super hard to coach. They’re going to be really hard to work with. Or B) I, as a business owner, am really Sharky and really masculine and really sleazy and really desperate. All of these super heavy, negative associations.
I want to give you a completely different lens and a completely different perspective, to feel so much more empowered in your sales process. What if that first Lie of the nightmare client was actually just not true?
What if actually, people are busy and humans have other things going on and they’re making a decision about whether or not to come inside of your program or they’ve already made the decision? They’re already 100% in but have other things happening have other dynamics things going on in their life and the follow up, the reminder, that touchpoint, rather than this label that the industry likes to put on: follow up as sleazy, masculine Sharky, unethical, blah, blah, blah, was actually the complete opposite.
What if that was actually a sign of deep connection, a sign of deep care, a sign of you knowing not just who your leads are by time of opening your sales page or whatever, but they are like, Oh, this person that I’m going to work with you are actually checking in with me, not to handhold me and enabling me and again, all of these negative associations.
What if our people are actually just busy and have other stuff going on, and it’s actually the follow-up, the connection, the touch point that makes them feel like Whoa, this woman, this business owner, actually cares. She actually gives a shit about me. She is invested in me as a person and is present.
How Follow-Ups Help You Connect To People
I literally just shared about this on a reel. It is so not important whether that is a follow-up, discovery call, or whatever. What’s important is that your people feel connected.
When you’re in the sales process with me reaching out to you via dm, a video message that is how I do it in my business. I like people to feel my energy, my presence. Tthat I’m not just typing to where I don’t have a sales team that’s typing in my name. It’s me, it’s really me on the other side.
Follow-up, you guys. We need to stop making it mean that our clients or prospective clients or the people in our spaces are indecisive, bad, or wrong. They’re busy, they’ve got other stuff going on. We need to stop making it mean that the way that we run our businesses, our perspective, our lens, our way of doing business, our way of doing sales is Sharky or desperate.
Here’s the thing, your content, the way that you speak, the way that you write, the way that you lead, the way that you provide value, the way that you showcase both your expertise and your humanity. That is the magnetism. That is what people begin to feel in a really deep way. That is what draws people to you.
How Follow-Ups Can Be Feminine
When we talk about the feminine quality in business all of those things, that things that create a really resonant struggle soul-deep connection. That is what truly sets the stage. But follow-up can be such a beautiful natural extension part of that process. It can be such a natural part of a continuing conversation.
That doesn’t have to mean anything negative, bad, wrong about you, or your clients. I have had clients who I have followed up with me. Again, and I can think of literally dozens of examples, both sides of the street where someone has followed up with me and I have literally in my mind already booked and paid for it. And I’m telling somebody I’m so excited to work with this person my new coach or my new photographer, or my new this or my new that. And meanwhile, they send me a loving reminder like, hey, just wanted to make sure you got the invoice and I was Oh shit, of course. Whoops. I didn’t even realize that I hadn’t settled that yet or that that hadn’t come through or that I didn’t verbalize back to you. Yes, I’m totally in. Can you send me the link again? Or can you send this or whatever? People are busy people have stuff going on. I have had that happen so many times with clients and rather than because I have felt this too. I’m not gonna lie.
I felt the story that the industry perpetuates of if you follow up, you’re Sharky, you’re sleazy, you’re masculine. You’re hunting, you’re desperate. You’re all of this crap. And I’ve heard reflected back to me the exact opposite. Literally, dozens of times where women say to me, thank you so much for reaching out. Thank you so much for touching base. Wow. Thank you so much for this message.
What If The Follow-Up Was Part Of The Feminine Sales Process
What is this industry lie that we’re all trying not to do, not to be that Sharky, masculine coach, and this might be unpopular. I know. There’s some coaches out there who teach, “I never follow up I’m just in the magnetism. If it’s aligned, it’ll happen.”
I love that saying, I don’t know if it’s going to be immediately apparent sometimes, my brain makes really weird analogies. But I love that saying like, what’s it called? Pray to God but tie up your camel. It’s in another language. I don’t know the exact translation but the point is like, yes, we can be trusting that the dream clients are going to come in, we can be trusting that if we’re putting out that really resonant, powerful content and serving our people super well, that our people are going to come in, and doing the follow-up.
What if that was part of the easeful process for the coaches and the schools of thought and the Schools of Business and sales who say only when people are attracted to me or when they know they want to sign –only those are the dream clients. I think we’re really losing a lot of really beautiful client-coach or service provider relationships when we tell ourselves that lie when we tell ourselves that.
I think we leave so much money on the table and so much connection on the table and so much freaking transformation on the table. It has to feel good. If the follow-up feels good, then it’s not Sharky.
When Follow-Ups Don’t Feel Good
But what if it feels not good? Here’s what I say about that. If it doesn’t feel good to follow up, if you can feel in your own energetic field in your own being that it’s out of desperation, that it’s out of clinging to somebody, that it’s out of manipulation, let’s be real. We know when we’re in a conversation with somebody in the DMS, if somebody is genuinely a match –most of the time we have a sense of whether or not that person is a good fit just by the way that they communicate, by what they’ve shared with you, by what you can see in terms of where they’re at in their business or life or marriage or whatever the area of transformation it is that you provide.
You have a sense of whether somebody is truly a match and when it starts to feel desperate. When it starts to feel clingy is when somebody puts up a wall up, puts up a barrier. They really make it clear that they are not interested. If we then keep banging on the door. That’s when we’re not taking no as an answer. That’s when it starts to feel bad. That’s when it starts to feel off. That’s when it starts to feel Sharky or manipulative or desperate or any one of those things.
But that is very different. I don’t even consider that follow up. I consider that bombardment and not actually listening to the dialogue. That’s their follow up is you having in your sales process, having in the way that you connect with other people, having in the way that you conduct your sales include a human element. Wherein outreach, wherein touching base with somebody is part of the process and that isn’t demonized, that isn’t labeled as negative, Sharky, hypermasculine, or this hunting kind of energy because it is not.
I think for each and every person, each and every business owner, we need to be honest enough with ourselves to discern the difference. Because you can feel it and each one of you who’s listening to this, you are going to be able to feel the difference if you’re following up with somebody who is a really beautiful fit for what it is that you’re offering, who is interested, who is engaging, who is right there.
What Is The Energy Behind The Follow-Up?
Here’s the key, energetic distinction that I think makes or breaks it. What kind of action or what kind of energy that outreach has, whether it is Sharky and weird, or it’s beautiful and caring and part of your sales process is your need for it to go either way. I say this to my clients all the time, be committed, but not attached.
When you are in the energy of being committed, of being present, of being warm, of being relatable, of being there, but you’re not attached to any particular outcome. That’s what actually makes business and sales feel feminine and flowy. If you can be present, if you can be there I think so much of the time now we’re going really deep into layers of unworthiness and layers of what actually makes us feel. We can’t follow up with somebody. I think it goes back to the fear of rejection. I think it goes back to this thing of like, oh well if I’m just in my femininity, if I’m just in my ears, and I’m just in my magnetism and putting stuff out there, then I don’t have to worry.
If somebody doesn’t say yes, because I haven’t really tried, I’ve left a little bit on the table, it’s the same freaking thing as what has to do with. It’s literally the same dynamic in dating. It’s the same dynamic in relationships, if we put our hearts out there, if we say what we want, if we open our hearts and let that be seen, then guess what? That’s a hell of a lot more vulnerable because you declared to yourself and to the universe and to this other person that you wanted it?
Making Your Sales Process Reflect Your Service
What if we liberated –this is some free dating advice I didn’t know I was gonna give you –but what if we liberated ourselves internally and actually cultivated a sense of inner safety, that meant we were safe to follow up in business. We were safe to say the thing in a relationship, we were safe to show our hand to have that follow up to have that connection to show that we actually care. But we weren’t so attached to our sense of worth, our sense of value, our sense of belonging, our sense of validity, whatever, based on the outcome of what that person says.
So in bringing this home to sales, when I follow up with somebody as part of a sales process, they’ve responded to a poll or they have sent a DM about something. When I’m following up with them, I see that is such a beautiful and sacred part of my business. In that conversation with people, me, not a team of people behind the scenes, it’s actually me, I see that it’s such a beautiful integral part because I want people to feel connected. Starting from before they are a client, I want my sales process to reflect my service. When people feel that that is the most important thing.
When you are looking at your sales process, I want you to ask yourself, where have you been believing this lie that follow up is Sharky is manipulative is masculine? Where have you been believing this lie that only dream clients fall from the sky and are ready to go and pay in full? I have many clients who come in and they’re ready to go. And they pay in full and they’re just like, boom. I have clients who need a little bit of back and forth, who need a little bit of support who need something answered, and like, Who am I to say, No, those clients are nightmare clients. And please you guys will be able to know the difference.
I know the difference between a dream client who needs a little bit of back and forth and needs some support and needs a question answered or whatever and a nightmare client. You can sniff that and spot that a mile away. If you can’t, that’s a topic for another day. But trust yourself enough to be focused on the connection.
First and foremost, above all else, stop making yourself wrong for following up with people or wanting to follow up with people. Stop telling a story about these beautiful humans who want to work with you who are more likely than not probably just freaking busy, and a little pop into their DMS or however you conduct your follow up. There’s all sorts of new apps and tools different clients of mine use manjaro for email video follow up, there’s a whole bunch of things.
This isn’t about how you follow up. This is about making space in this industry for follow-up to be extremely feminine, heart-centered and connected, extremely integral and integrated in a truly connection and relationship-driven sales process. We need to stop making it wrong and start making more space for what sales truly is about which is about connecting with other human beings and an invitation to rise via a container and an opportunity to work with you.
I would love to know what your biggest takeaway from this is.