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Episode 95: How To Avoid Getting Friend-Zoned By Your Audience

Episode 95: How To Avoid Getting Friend-Zoned By Your Audience

Welcome to the Born To Rise Podcast. I’m your host, Cait Scudder, guys we’re gonna just dive straight in today because your girl, you know only has little windows, and right now I don’t have a crying babe, wanting my attention. 

So I’m just gonna dive straight in today’s topic is all about how to not friend zone yourself to your audience and be seen and get paid like the expert that you are. So how many of you just by a show of hands? Not that I can see any of your hands? Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. Um, this is a podcast. 

How many of you guys are Schitt’s Creek fans? Just like me? A lot of you. All of you. Okay, great. I’ve been using this analogy so much recently on my coaching calls. I was like, You know what, I need to use this on my podcast. 

Ted, right. Alexis’ lover boyfriend x times two. I’m only on season three right now. So we’re gonna just see how it all unfolds. But anyway, the moral of the story if you do not watch, it’s great. And you’re like, Cait, what are you even talking about? The reason that Alexis originally does not like Ted, right, is that he is too nice. 

Now, this is something that happens. So often I see this and I’ve been having this conversation with clients, students, it’s been coming up in my Facebook group, it’s been coming up in all of the places. What happens when our audience seems to just love consuming our free content or love hanging out in our spaces, but they don’t ever buy? 

The Ted Phenomenon

Now, I am not one for providing just like a quick glance and coming up with a reductive conclusion that XYZ is the thing. That’s a big problem in why sales aren’t converting. But one thing that I think is really important, especially for my generous big-hearted entrepreneurs who find themselves launching a program or energizing a sale or a lot of content leading up to selling private coaching, or whatever it is you’re doing – if you identify as somebody who is a giver, who is a big-hearted entrepreneur who likes to provide a ton of value. And yet you struggle with making the sale, you struggle with transitioning into a selling context, you struggle with moving from free value into selling. 

This might be a phenomenon that’s happening to you – the TED phenomenon, as I like to call it – could be happening to you in business. And what that looks like is basically getting friendzone by your audience. Literally what happens when we get into the habit of providing too much – and I’m going to unpack what that means in just a second – when we get into the habit of providing too much free content too much free value, and only get comfortable providing for free and not selling specifically.  

I’m talking about – because there’s actually no such thing as too much free content – as long as that free content is then followed with an opportunity for your audience to go deeper to make a commitment to actually put their money where their mouth is and invest in a deeper level and layer of transformation with you. 

How You Are Robbing Your Audience

Because all of that free content is amazing. That’s great. That whets their appetite. That shows them your competence and your confidence and all of the things that you can do. But if we are lacking the thing that takes them to the next level, the invitation for them to work with you to join your program to enroll in your course, whatever it is that you’re selling, you’re robbing your audience of the opportunity to experience a deeper transformation with you and work with you. 

And where I see a lot of entrepreneurs fall into this trap is that they think that only by over-giving, are they going to be loved. It’s the same kind of thing, are they only going to be bought for it. It’s the same kind of thing in a codependent relationship pattern where we think that the only way to receive love is by giving, giving, giving, giving, giving of ourselves until we break, right? 

It’s like that classic archetype of this sort of over giving wife or partner or whatever that is, and the spouse never comes to actually fully appreciate and treat that woman like the Queen that she is. It’s because she’s allowing herself to participate in a dynamic that inherently devalues her because she is accustomed to devaluing herself and that is what the implicit agreement is between partners. 

I know that might seem like an extreme example. But the exact same thing happens in business when we train our audiences to see us only as a fountain of free information. Where we constantly – in order to launch one paid program – have to deliver a week of live streams, and then a webinar and then you know, XYZ, free ebook and all of this free stuff, and then we never get around to selling or we’re very shy when it comes to selling or we feel like, the reason that our audience isn’t converting is because we haven’t given them enough free stuff. 

We want to make sure that we are providing enough value and enough opportunity for our audience to be nurtured by us to take that next step. But 9 times out of 10, if we are doing all of the free stuff – if they’re doing a free hype event, if they’re delivering a lot of free content, and it’s not converting, it’s not working. Do you think you need to do another free thing? Do you think you need to add on a webinar or another masterclass? I get these questions from my clients a lot.

I tell them, this is not about adding another free thing. How much have you been selling? That’s what we actually need to look at. And in that instance, it is not how much more free stuff that we can give, but actually how can we transition the tone, the energetic the perception of your audience to you away from fountain of free information to badass bonafide expert in the field, who is deserving and commanding of fees and payment via the offer that she is selling.

The Difference Between Information And Transformation

I think that we as business owners, as women, need to get comfortable with the idea that selling is service. And I say this all the time, but selling a service and really learning to adopt and establish a mindset and an energy around sales that is quietly confident, that is unshakable, that is like deeply rooted in the value that we provide requires knowing that our audience does not need us, or even want us to just be a fountain of free information, the actual transformation, right? 

There’s a massive difference between information and transformation. The actual transformation that we provide for our people happens inside of our paid containers. It happens when people put their money where their mouth is, when people step inside of a container that’s going to call them to rise, not just passively consume tons of trainings on Instagram stories.

There’s a big difference of your of asking your audience to tune in for something for free, or download a free ebook, or watch a couple minutes of a free live stream or masterclass. That’s a very different energetic than then selling with service with clarity, with boldness with conviction and knowing that the paid offer that you have, the container that you have is the thing that’s actually going to move the needle.

It takes a really different energetic energy to deliver a free piece of content than it does to sell into a paid program. And it’s actually when and I know – you guys, if you’re listening to this, and you’ve had clients inside of paid containers before, you know and you see that the way that somebody shows up inside of a paid container is so much greater because they have skin in the game because they have literally an investment. And therefore the results that they get out of that are so much greater. 

If you have been finding yourself feeling either insecure or hesitant or questioning your sales process, or thinking maybe I’m just not giving them enough free stuff. 

Questions To Ask Yourself About Your Sales Process

Number one absolutely look at Hey, are we showing up to deliver value? Does your audience feel that know, like and trust factor? Those are absolutely important, initial discerning questions that we want to ask. But when you have established Okay, I’m pretty consistent and my audience definitely knows likes and trusts me. The next question to ask is, am I trying to get them to like me too much? Am I trying to just win them over with all sorts of free confetti and balloons and crap and not actually selling them into that next step, in order to call them to rise? 

I think about you know, the most impactful coaches or mentors in business – I think about the most impactful coaches I had when I was an athlete for like decades growing up. It was not the coaches who just made me feel comfortable and gave me handouts and did things that did not ask me to stretch beyond my comfort zone that were the coaches that most transformed me. Those experiences were too comfortable. Those were not the things that actually move the needle. 

I want you to think about that as it relates to your ideal clients for your programs. We are just continuing to layer on free after free showing up as the nice girl, just giving away all of this stuff, we’re not actually sparking that bold new way of thinking and that bold new way of action that is going to be the thing that moves the needle for them, and quite frankly, moves the needle for you. 

Because how many of you are just putting out content all day long, that is free? You’re not a business owner. You might be a content creator, you might be an entertainer, you might be an educator, but you are not a business owner. A business owner makes money, and that is your job to lead the way for your person to show that a business owner charges what she’s worth, she stands in that power she delivers so much value and she stands unshakable in the knowing of what she deserves. 

That is my challenge for you guys listening to this podcast episode, I want you to look at your sales process. Look at the way that you are positioning your offers. Look at the ratio of free goodwill content, educational free value content, and sales content. Are you calling your people to rise? Are you positioning your offers your services, your work your space in the field that you’re in as an absolute non-negotiable? And if not, how can you start? Doing this so that is so so important. 

How To Stand In Your Radiance and Magnetism

This is one of the biggest differences between what has some brands really positioned and those who don’t. I just delivered a masterclass a couple of days ago about becoming an industry icon. But this is it. This is the thing that makes some brands, some businesses, some content just absolutely irresistible. It’s the way that they message, that they position, that they sell and stand in the value. Not asking their audience to buy into them, not asking their audience to please please please like what I’m putting out but standing so strongly radiating and magnetizing the knowing that their content, their message, the work that they are putting out in the world is worthy, is powerful, is needed, and is absolutely deserving of compensation in order to be a match for the transformation that they provide. 

And if this felt like an edge for you, that is my invitation for where I want you to lean in. So I’m leaving this episode this week, short, sweet to the point. But this is a massive one. Where are you inadvertently over delivering and trying to be in this proving energy to your audience? Proving your worth, proving that you’ve got all of this free stuff that makes you worthy to then sell to them later? And I want you to ask yourself how can you minimize or eliminate and prove the energy? 

Absolutely. Make sure you have regular consistent free goodwill content in your social strategy, email marketing, podcast, or wherever it is you’re delivering value, but connect that free content with a powerful clear, unapologetic call to rise via a sale. Something that you’re selling with strategy, with consistency, with conviction. 

Be sold on yourself and your offer because that is what is going to position your brand at the top of your niche. It’s what’s going to book out your services and it’s going to give you the momentum and the traction that you are looking for. 

My Nail Your Niche Program

Last thing I’ll say, if you need help with this if you’re listening to this and being like oh my god, this is the missing piece. This is what I have been doing I have been missing the mark with my audience because I’ve been afraid to really boldly own that voice that unapologetically claims what a master of my niche I am and how much my people need what I have to offer then I invite you. The doors are officially open right now for Nail Your Niche

You guys this is my signature best-selling group program. It has taken dozens and dozens and dozens of household name entrepreneurs that you guys know in the online world from literally zero to six multiple six-figure business owners. It is a catalyst. It is a rocket ship. It is a vortex. It is a vibe and doors are open right now if you are ready to get seen, get known, and get paid like the expert that you are. 

Head to Caitscudder.com/nail-your-niche The link is in the show notes. You can also find the link in my Instagram bio I’m at @caitscudder if you’re not already following me there. Guys, this program I cannot say enough about it. It is the single most powerful 10-week container that I offer to help you get dialed in and booked out in your business. If you are transitioning your niche if you are newer in the online business world or simply if you have been around for a while but your marketing is dead. It’s feeling stagnant and it’s not pulling in the leads and making the conversions. You know are possible, Nail Your Niche is absolutely for you. I am so freaking excited to kick off we start on February 22. 

If you are feeling the call head to the link in the show notes or in my Instagram bio and join us, I am so looking forward to supporting you. Thank you guys so much for listening to this week’s episode of the podcast and I will see you all next week.

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Hey, I'm Cait!

Boss mama, wife, and 7-figure CEO empowering women to build profitable, purpose-driven businesses that change the world.


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