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Episode 91: How to Think Like A Boss

Episode 91: How to Think Like A Boss

Cait: I can’t wait to dive in. Oh, so good love. So for those of our audience who have not heard of you before, who are new to your work, tell us a little bit about you and what your jam is, what you love. Because you’ve been in this space for a while and I want to make sure my audience really knows who you are and what you do.

Kate: Yeah, well, first and foremost, I’m a mama. I have a two-year-old, a three-year-old, and another one on the way. So life the last really, three and a half years have been a whirlwind. Business has shifted, it has changed. 

I started six years ago. As a psychotherapist, I left my nine to five, three months after starting my therapy practice. And then through that, I really started helping other women start their therapy practices. 

So it’s funny how business works, how you start with one dream, you accomplish it, and then this other one just starts to unfold for you. So I started doing consulting work helping women open their therapy practices. And then through that, I realized a lot of what these women were struggling with their mindset and their confidence. Whether it was talking about their businesses, selling their services, or welcoming people in. I decided, let me try to help with mindset. So I started doing some mindset and confidence coaching, this was five years ago, and have never looked back.

Cait: Oh, that is so cool. And I love that you introduce yourself first and foremost, as a mama, that’s amazing. And obviously super near and dear to my heart being newly in that mama camp as well. And I love hearing you describe the unfolding of your journey. And it’s so true how we start with one thing and witness how that opens up pathways that we never knew existed. And I think that’s such an important reminder for a lot of entrepreneurs who are starting or who are maybe already into their journey a bit and are like, hang on, this doesn’t look like it did when I started. Does that mean I’m on the wrong track? And I think you’re speaking to the fact that that’s how it kind of unfolds.

Giving Yourself Permission To Shift

Kate: Yeah, I actually didn’t share that. I’m also a published author, my first book was called Thinking Like A Boss. And my second book was the second part of that. And I have a third book. That manuscript is due right around when baby number three is due. And that book is all on alignment.

I always like to share and just say that, like, what’s in line for you today is going to change tomorrow. And I think it’s so important that we give ourselves permission, to shift and to not have to stay where we are. And like maybe you had this big dream and you accomplished it. And now you’re saying, You know what, I don’t really know if this is for me anymore. I feel like I need a pivot or a shift and just know like, you have permission to do that. And that’s when you’ll feel most aligned when you can step into that and you don’t have any guilt around it.

Cait: I think that’s such an important reminder. And such a powerful permission slip for all of us to just keep evolving and growing as our interests do. Do what feels true for us. And that actually is a perfect segue. I wanted to ask you when you said, your business has shifted for you since becoming a mama and I can imagine having two kiddos now and being pregnant. Like that is a whole different kind of energy availability than when you had no kids and all the time in the world for yourself. 

I don’t know about you. But I’m now thinking Cait, what did I do? What held my time? And how did I not like, solve world hunger? Like what I doing before? Because now in 10 minutes when she’s napping, I feel like I get an entire day’s worth of work done. So talk to us about how time in business has shifted for you.

Kate: Yeah, so I always say like, and somebody said a quote out there, and I’m gonna botch it. But it’s like, whatever containers of time you have, you’re going to fill. So if you’re giving yourself two hours to write a blog post, it’s going to take you two hours, if you only have 10 minutes, it’s going to take you 10 minutes. And before having kids, I feel like my first two businesses, the therapy practice I was able to match my salary in three months and leave. And then the coaching business. Also, I had success pretty quickly. 

In my first year, I hit six figures. You know, the whole thing felt like, I’m working all the time. Because I was, I’ll be honest, I was working like 70 hour weeks to get there my first year. Because I just thought that’s what you’re supposed to do like your first year in business, which is not true. 

How To Make Time For Your Priorities

But I was terrified to have children I actually wrote about this in my book, How I sort of like changed my mind. I was like, I don’t think I want to have kids anymore. I don’t think they’re for me because I would never have time for them. I barely have time to like, entertain my dog. 

And what I realized is like the time that you’re given, you will figure it out. And it’s all about setting priorities. It’s all about setting boundaries, figuring out what’s important to you today. 

Today I have 12 childcare hours a week that I get. And as you know, we were going through the pandemic and there were many months that I had no childcare at all. But I still made business work. And this has been one of my best years in business. Because I’ve been able to really take on that mindset and believe that the amount of time I have is not what’s going to make me successful. It’s how I approach that time, how I look at that time. 

Looking back, I’m like, What did I do with my time back then? I thought I was so busy. And today, I have very, very little of it. But I’m able to really focus. My husband and I actually have other businesses as well, we have a breakfast and lunch eatery we opened a year and a half ago, locally here. We’re also co owners of a fitness center, we also have rental properties, he works a full time job. So we’re pulled in a million directions. But because we’re able to really say like, these are our priorities, say no, a lot more than we ever say, yes, we’re able to get everything done. 

Cait: That’s amazing. I love the way that you underscore and highlight the importance of saying no, and having boundaries with time in order to move the needle forward. Because I do think especially in those earlier stages of business and hitting those first six figures – there is this belief that a lot of kind of newer stage entrepreneurs have of like, “I have more, equals more,” and doing doing all the things is what’s going to move the needle. 

And I think what you’re speaking to is so relevant, not just for that scaling and optimizing phase, but really from the ground up. Paying attention to what is actually going to move the needle. And that means saying no to a lot of other stuff.

Kate: Yeah. And just staying focused. Like I remember thinking I needed to launch all these different programs or I always needed a new offer. And now I have like the one thing, and that just makes it simple and easy. And it’s always going. I love that.

Cait:  So tell us about that one thing you now have since you shifted from that therapy model to consulting. Now you’re an author and have the publishing arm of your work, which I want to dive into a little bit more because that what you write about is just so powerful and so relevant to entrepreneurship and all of its forms. Talk to us about how you actually work with your clients now.

Shape Your Business Model In A Way That Works For You 

Kate: Yeah, so after I had my first daughter, I felt like I completely lost my business. I was doing just all 1:1 sessions, higher end packages. And again, sort of trading time for dollars. And it just can’t work when you have a kid. You can, if you really want to make it work, you could. But for me, it just was not going to work that way. 

So I shifted, and I created a mastermind and realized this is a beautiful container that I can fully support people. I know that you have a mastermind as well feeling like you can just give your all and give everything and focus in that one place. Rather than being all over the place and trying to serve many people. 

I’m very hands-on. So it was almost four years ago that I shifted my business and have just run an evergreen mastermind that just keeps on going. So there are no big launches at all because I realized, for me, it just made more sense to keep it open all the time. And that just be that one thing that I just talked about all the time. So amazing. It’s made things very easy.

Cait: I love that so much. It’s such a beautiful permission slip as well to do business your own way and not feel like Oh, well. Being an online business owner and a successful coach. I’ve got to do the small ticket courses, DIY courses and the group programs and the masterminds in the VIP in two tiers of masterminds.

I think that there can very much be this kind of copy coach herd mentality or business model structure that that happens unknowingly, that we can get pulled into. So I love that you’re sharing how you get to decide to simplify and it really sounds like that ties in a lot with your kind of prioritization focus mantra of just keep it simple. Keep the focus on what really matters and say no to the stuff that doesn’t feel good. 

Kate: Yeah, exactly. It makes it simple. You’ve got the same sales emails, same content, and you don’t have to keep reinventing the wheel each time.

Cait: I love that so much. Okay, I want to dive into mindset because obviously mindset is your area of expertise. It’s really the thing that you live and breathe and that you help your clients with. 

I’m curious how your own mindset had to shift and expand. You know, whether that was when your second child came, whether that is like becoming pregnant again and being like, Oh, baby, here we go again.

Also, I love that you shared this year that it’s been your best year in business and a pandemic and no child care and two kids at home. Hello. How has your mindset had to expand in order to meet the challenges or the obstacles that have kind of arisen for you at different stages of your journey as an entrepreneur?

Embracing Flexibility In Business and In Life

Kate: I think the biggest thing is flexibility, and not being so attached to the outcome, or wherever you think that one thing is going to go. So just being able to surrender, and to let go of something that maybe feels hard. And I always say to my clients to really just pay attention. Like, if you’re doing something that feels really hard, where there’s a lot of resistance, it’s probably not for you, there’s something there that’s out of alignment. 

So how can we do more of just what feels good, what feels easy, what feels simple. And make money that way. So for me like in the past, I’d want things to be a little bit more staged or perfect looking in my business. My videos to look a little more edited. And in the place that I’m in right now, it’s just not possible for me to have the perfect sound or the perfect sort of environment. Like there are times when I’m doing a Facebook Live or an Instagram Live, where my kids are screaming in the background or on the potty training potty and mommy wipe me like, literally. And what I’ve told myself, and given myself that permission to just say it’s okay, I am going to show up with what I have. All that matters right now is my message. And if it’s going to be a little messy getting it out there, literally like that’s okay.

Cait: I love that so much. And I think about how permission giving that is for other women who are feeling the exact same pressure, right? They’re telling themselves those same stories of I can’t show up because of this. And whether it’s because they’re a parent or because they don’t have this qualification, or need this certification or didn’t put on makeup today or any other list of things that don’t have a perfect Pinterest for the office, or like, any list of reasons why we don’t show up. I just imagine how permission giving it is that you have not only found that liberation within yourself, but can also light that way for other women to show up as they are and be okay with that.

Thinking Like A Boss: Unpacking The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Kate: Yeah, that’s actually what the book is about Thinking Like A Boss. It’s the top 12 lies that female business owners tell themselves. And this is one of them, that I have to be ready. Or the other one is I need to be qualified. And I think we always think we’re going to feel more ready once this thing happens. Like, once we have the certification, or once we’ve been in business a certain amount of years, or once we’ve been writing x amount of time. 

And we’re really the most ready today, when we say that goal out loud, it’s important that we just throw ourselves into it. Because the longer that we wait the longer we’re going to try to perfect it. And we become more attached to it. And then when it doesn’t work out the way that we want it to work out, we’re even more disappointed. 

So for example, a lot of women will come to me and say, I think I need to get this coaching certification in order to really uplevel my business. And I’ll say, Are you showing me that? Or is it that you just really need to work on your confidence right now? And selling and stepping into maybe raising your prices? Rather than first I need the certification then I’m worthy of raising my prices. Like, how can we work on that today? Because then what happens is, and I’ve seen this so many times, they go get the certification and they feel exactly the same. And then they’re even more disappointed because they’re like, nothing has changed. And I think it’s the same thing when you set the bar at a certain level in business and you’re like once I hit those first four-figure months or five-figure months and no matter where you get to you’re continuing to chase it because you’re not feeling good with what you have today. And I think it’s so important that we just learned to really celebrate what we have today.

Cait: I think that’s such an important message and such an ironic way that that is usually what makes the results come in faster. And I want to dive into a concept that you’ve touched on here Kate, because I think it’s something I say all the time to my clients: the importance of being committed but not attached. 

Being Committed But Not Attached

But I want to dive into your take on this, because you’ve, you know, talked about changing our relationship with the attachment to a certain outcome. And that being like a really powerful mindset hack. And I know, this is something that a lot of business owners struggle with, especially when it feels like, Well, I have to be attached because I need that money, or I have to be attached because I need to hit this number in my business. How do you work with clients around softening that relationship to attachment to actually expedite results?

Kate: Yeah, I think it’s just believing that ultimately, where you go, and what happens in life, whether it’s in your business or in your relationships, it’s supposed to go that way. And learning to accept that. There’s this quote, and I don’t know who said it, but it’s this or something better. And when you can tell yourself that mantra, this, or something better when this doesn’t work out exactly as planned. You can surrender and just believe that there’s even better on the way. And for me, I have a faith in God. And that’s a big part of my business and my belief structure. And I, I know that when things aren’t going the way that I think they’re supposed to be going, I’m only being redirected on to that path that I’m supposed to be on.

Cait: Hmm, I love that so much. And I love how you’re bringing like that faith or deeper belief into this, because I think where I wanted to take this next is, I imagine for a lot of Type A women ambitious driven, I mean, I would classify myself that way to a tee. And I think for a lot of us there’s this component of control that we get to bring to our businesses of like, I put in the work, or I do this or that and this relationship between being ambitious, driven, self taking self-responsibility, self trusting. 

There’s such an interesting dance when you get into that breakdown of trusting yourself and taking it upon yourself to get the results that you want. And this surrender component that I’m hearing from you of trusting that if it doesn’t work out, can I just accept that and trust that I’m moving in a different direction. And how do you see that play? 

I mean, do you classify yourself as that? I imagine you have clients that are like, very driven like that. So how do you speak into that? Because I know we have a lot of those driven women who listen to this show and struggle with this exact thing.

Learning From Disappointments And Following Your True Path

Kate: I think it’s hard when you’re in the moment, and the only way to start believing it. Like you can’t just learn something, and it happened overnight. It’s gonna take time. But it’s sort of collecting the evidence in life that everything always works out the way it’s supposed to work out. 

So taking yourself back, maybe it’s back to childhood, maybe you had a disappointment. Maybe you’re in middle school, and you had your first crush, and it didn’t work out. And now you see Oh, wow. Okay, that probably was not meant to be. And then you sort of follow those breadcrumbs throughout your life. And look at all of those situations where it felt like it was the end of the world, you felt like you were losing everything, everything was falling apart, you are alone. And then this came. And just holding on to that and remembering the same is going to be true in the future. And the more that you can work through those disappointments, the easier it gets. So like this year, has been a year of many disappointments for me, so many things have happened that weren’t supposed to happen, many let downs, disappointments. And I also know that they were all meant to be because they shifted me in a different direction.

Cait: I think this is such a timely reminder for so many of us who, whether it was in business or in our personal lives, I mean, you’re pregnant. Now, I think that I know a lot of pregnant moms that I was speaking to this year, especially first-time pregnant mamas not having their husbands able to come to the ultrasound appointments for some in those early lockdowns not having a doula or a spouse in the hospital or so many different things. 

I think that that a lot of people are riding the wave of those disappointments and it’s such a powerful reminder to take a more long term view and look at the bigger picture. And the bigger arc of like, what if this is actually working out exactly as it’s meant to? Even though it feels like it’s crumbling in the moment? 

Kate: Hmm, yeah, when I think of those mamas who, you know, had to give birth alone, I just think of them now being able to look back and say, Look how strong I was, like I wanted somebody by my side, but I didn’t need someone by my side, I still did it on my own.

Cait: Wow I’m literally going to start crying. It’s such a deep vein, but it’s so true. The strength of – whether that is losing a loved one, or doing a pregnancy or a birth alone or not getting to see see your people or having clients drop off or needing to cancel an event – like all of these disappointments that so many of us, whether entrepreneurs or not have endured this year. I just love the reminder, you’re giving us of like, there’s a deeper reason and a deeper why. And I love what you said again, as well about being pointed in a different direction. And I think this is how pivoting for most businesses happens, isn’t it?

How To Embrace Your Pivot

Kate: Yeah, yeah. Like I think of our breakfast and lunch eatery, it was pretty much a brand new restaurant. We had not even been open a year when the pandemic hit. And there was this point where I remember there was so much tension in our household, my husband and I were just like, not really agreeing. And we’re like, what do we do with this? We put so much money into this and built this thing. Do we shut down? Or do we pivot? 

And we decided to spend, I think it was like, almost $5,000 on this takeout window, installed it. And in the second year of business, it has done better than anything did the first year during a global pandemic. Because we made that choice. We said, okay, we could walk away and just close the doors. Or we can believe that this will work out if we make that pivot.

Cait: I love that so much. Oh, I’m just thinking about the title of your book now like this is what thinking like a boss does. This isn’t just feel good journaling in bed. This is actually having your mindset in check, yields, money yields, results yield so much power and, and potential and adaptability and being able to move as the market does as circumstance does. 

I love you sharing that that little snippet with us. Because I think that’s such a powerful illustration of how mindset really does impact business.

Resiliency Through Hardships

Kate: I think we’re so resilient. And every single night, I have this little prayer that I say with my girls before I put them to bed. And I always say like you’re courageous, you’re strong, you’re smart, you are resilient. And every time you fall, I pray that you get right back up. And now they start to say that like, Mommy, when I fall, I get right back up, right? Yes, baby, every time you fall, you’re going to get right back up. And it’s so beautiful.

As women, we just have to remember that we will always get back up, we will always rise, we will never stay on the ground forever.

Cait: That’s so beautiful and such a more empowered way to live, isn’t it?  And then trying to avoid the fall in the first place?

Kate: Yeah, because I think especially as parents, we try to hold on to our kids because we don’t want them to fall. Like we’ll pray. Please don’t let them fall. Please don’t let them get hurt but it’s really, when it happens. I pray that they’re resilient to just get through it.

Cait: Totally. And that I mean, that’s the stuff that makes them substantive Isn’t it? Whether that’s in super early stages, or having their heart broken, or whatever it is down the line, that’s the thing that builds their character, that builds their sense of self-worth. 

So beautiful. Well, you know, I’d love if you would feel open to it. If you sent that little prayer that you said. I’d love to see that and maybe even put it in the show notes. I just think that’s such an such an empowering thing for all the women and girls to hear. Just that that blessing and that knowledge of you’ve got it in you sister, like get back up. 

Kate, thank you so much. You know, one thing that and you kind of just answered this like rising from afar with that perfect illustration of the breakfast window in that other business that you have. But I’m curious like one of the final questions that I asked to all of our interviewees is, if you had some words of advice for a woman entrepreneur at any stage of her journey, who is struggling and wanting to do the thing, what would you tell her?

Kate: This is always hard when we narrow it down to like the one thing

Cait: Right? No pressure, just like your final words, all good.

Kate:  I think my words of advice would be to ask yourself, what do you really want? Not dependent on what your spouse wants for you or what your family or you think your friends want for you. What do you really want? And go and follow that dream, make that happen. Figure out what you have to do. Because when you’re on board with your own dream, when you’re confident in your dream, everyone else will also begin to see that and their confidence will begin to grow for you. And I think so often, we’re afraid to do that next thing because we questioned whether other people will be on board. But if we are confident in it, they will always be confident in us.

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Hey, I'm Cait!

Boss mama, wife, and 7-figure CEO empowering women to build profitable, purpose-driven businesses that change the world.

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