The reality that women have to choose one over the other. We are in a day and age where women can do fucking anything.
We have the power to birth life. #vagina. We have the power to grow businesses, lead teams, and put dinner on the table for our families. We have the power to build sisterhood, to create a community to create spaces of welcoming and gathering for other women. We are freaking powerful.
By the way, men are welcome here too. We welcome you. We love you. So this is not about like, men suck. We love the guys, we need the guys. But this is about ladies.
Yet the thing that has me really pissed, like really riled up, is this:
Why We Limit Ourselves
We need to recognize and remember that any limit that we put on ourselves is self-imposed.
Don’t get me wrong. If you break your leg. You’re not about to run a marathon. That’s not what I’m saying. This isn’t some blanket statement mind over matter bullshit.
What pisses me off is the story that so many women are carrying – that they have to choose one over the other. Case in point, I am walking with my sweet daughter on my chest. I have worked a couple of hours already this morning, welcoming new, amazing clients into the rise mastermind. I am not busting my ass to the ground. I’m not sacrificing my family. I haven’t chosen one over the other.
I have wiped this baby’s poopy butt. This morning, I fed her for over an hour. I’ve spent more time being a mom this morning than I have working on my business.
My point is if I or my clients – some of whom are incredible mothers, incredible women – subscribed to the belief that you have to choose one and forget the other.
I see so much. I see so much in my community. I see this in some clients. I see this in the collective.
If you don’t want to be a mom, that’s great. If you want to travel the world or buy a house, or whatever your priorities are, that’s great. The fact that so many people think that they have to choose between them is what pisses me off.
Either I get to be a homeowner, or I get to invest in my business.
Either I get to be a mom, or I get to be a working woman.
Either I get to have a tight-knit group of friends or I get to have a significant relationship.
Is this something that you’ve struggled with as well?
I felt this before! I felt this so strongly.
My Own Limiting Beliefs
I was terrified when I peed on a stick in January of this year. But when I peed on that stick and got that double line, you better believe that the biggest person that thought I had to choose was me.
I thought there is no way in hell I’m going to be able to navigate pregnancy. There’s no way in hell I’m going to be able to be a mom and grow this business. There’s no way I can do that. I didn’t think it was possible.
And I’m telling you right now, I am living proof that it is possible. And I’ll tell you something else. It was not just some crazy secret sauce strategy.
Of course, we’ve had to make some strategic shifts. But you know what? This is about getting the message out, this is about executing and not perfecting.
Execution, Not Perfection
Perfection is a part of what keeps so many women back. We actually do a disservice to ourselves. We actually perpetuate the belief, the narrative, the story of, “I have to choose” because we get scared because we don’t see examples of people doing it differently.
You get to do both, you get to do it all.
Again, this is not about just being a mom and being a business owner. If you don’t want to be a mom, if that’s not something that is either on your radar right now or in your short term reality, that’s fine. Just think about whatever story you’re telling yourself about why you can’t have it now about why you can’t do both. Think about why you can’t have all of what you want.
Do you want to know something? The reason why most women feel like they’re not getting something that they truly want in their lives is because we’re afraid to actually believe it can be that good.
The Story And Energy We Create
The belief that we can’t have it all, the belief that it’s not possible, creates a story. And what happens when we have a story?
Our energy impacts execution. In our business and in our lives. Sometimes we carry the energy of contraction, the energy of “it’s not safe” to expand. The energy of, “if I try to expand, I’m going to fail”. The energy of “it’s not safe, possible, realistic, doable, achievable,” – fill in the word – to have it all.
If we carry this negative energy, we’re never going to go for it, we’re never going to execute. The actual execution is so much easier than we make it out to be.
This is something I say to my clients all the time. Get out of your own way, energetically mindset wise. That is 80% of the work. We do need strategy. We do need to be skillful in business, we do need to make sure that we’ve got our ducks in a row. But 80% of the work is getting out of your own way.
This is the actual execution part when it comes to those strategic pieces. That’s the easy work. Stop draining your life force energy and feeding a narrative of why we can’t do it now. why we can’t have it all.
Adjusting The Narration of My Story
When I peed on a stick in January, I thought, no way in hell. I said to one of my mentors, “I think I should just cash out on the business and try to start a T-shirt company.” Seriously. But this morning, I had a $45,000 day walking with my baby on the beach and just working a couple of hours. It can be done.
But you know what? I would have never hit results like $400,000 in two months. None of that would have been real, none of that would have happened if I told myself this story.
And you want to know what really makes me mad? There’s nothing special about me. I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way. I’m fucking awesome. But my point is like, this is not unique to me.
I am talking to you about what can you can actually do. As an entrepreneur, no matter where you are in your business. If you’ve made $1 if you made $100,000.
In order to move the needle forward, we have to be willing to see it move forward to actually do it and still grow and expand in other areas of our lives. Because let’s be real, we don’t build businesses in isolation. We don’t build businesses in a void and in a vacuum or in a Facebook group alone.
We build businesses in the context of our lives, we build businesses to create ripple effects of change, to live out our purpose, and we create businesses to better ourselves and the lives of the people in our lives that we love.
I know you all feel me on this. But let’s be real, we need to stop thinking that we can’t hold and we can’t acknowledge the things that matter in our lives, the things that really mean something.
Why We Can Do It All
If we are holding a story as women, that it’s not safe, that it’s not possible, to be wealthy, to take up space, to want more, to grow and develop personally, and to grow and develop in our romantic relationship. To be a mom, if that’s something that you want to do. To travel the world to be a homeowner to invest in another business, to be a sister, friend, or community builder.
If we’re holding this story that we can’t be all of it, guess what? We rob ourselves of the capacity to experience and receive so much more. We rob ourselves of that opportunity and experience.
Then we start to grow resentful. We start to grow resentful of the prison that we have put ourselves in. And this pisses me off.
How Big Do You Want To Go?
My invitation to you ladies is to ask you, how big do you want to go? Big is not just being on the lights in Times Square and having millions and millions of dollars. If that’s what you want, go for it. I will clap you up every single step of your way.
How big do you want to go in your life? In what matters to you? How much are you willing to expand your capacity to receive and to create what it is that you want? Because that starts with you. That starts today, that starts with a decision.
I don’t care how many times you’ve told yourself that story of it’s not possible to have it all. I can’t balance multiple things. I can’t be good at multiple things. You know what? Yes, you can.
If it means that you’re going to have to navigate a couple of new logistical pieces, you’re going to have to get more support. Ask yourself, what do I need to make this possible? As opposed to No, no, no, this isn’t possible.
When you start asking higher quality questions like this – that’s when you actually get to the good stuff. This is when you actually enable yourself to blow your own damn mind.
I love sharing my story about transitioning into motherhood, about serving so many incredible women about having an amazing, sexy relationship built on substance, and a solid, true friendship and partnership. Being a mother, being a seven-figure business owner, I love that that inspires you.
But you better believe that I’m not just here to be this anomaly inspiration to you. I need you to know that I too, struggled with and battled with and doubted to the point of literally just stopping. Can I do this? Can I do it all? Can I have everything I want? Can I create everything I want?
There is nothing special, unique, or pull-a-rabbit-out-of-a-hat kind of circumstance that enabled me to create this. I have been able to execute on fulfilling the things that matter to me because I got clear and started prioritizing.
Getting Clear and Prioritizing.
Instead of telling myself, “I don’t want to,” or using my precious life force and energy to fulfill a story about why it’s not possible – let me be brave enough to say:
Yes, I want to double my revenue this year. Yes. I want to be a seven-figure business owner. Yes. I want to be a mom. And oh, by the way, not just a mom, but a breastfeeding mother who spends a lot of time with her child. I want to really keep my relationship and my partnership with my beloved front and center. I don’t want to have that let go by the wayside, and then wake up in two years and be like shit, who are you? I want all of it.
It took me getting clear and being honest about and prioritizing the things that mattered. That was the biggest mindset block. That was the biggest energetic blocker.
And then the thing that unfolded from that is okay, now that I know those things are a priority, what’s my execution plan? How do I need to reorganize? What support do I need to get there, what environment is going to remind me of the decision that I’ve made?
I want you to know – no matter what those multiple pieces are, no matter if you are somebody who feels like it’s too late for you like you should have had it all organized by now, you should have, you should be further along, like you need to be something that you are not, or something that you don’t have, in order to really get to where you want to be.
This is my reminder to you that you get to decide now that you want it all. You get to decide now that you get to have it all. Nothing is going to stop you. Remember that you are the one who creates the reality that you have. You are the one who gets to decide just how big you want to go.
Energy Impacts Execution
And I’m not saying that it’s just bibbidi, bobbidi boo and it all happens. No, energy impacts execution. Your energetic state, your mindset, the way that you show up, impact how you execute. How you execute impacts the results that you get.
If you are sitting at home, spinning your wheels, telling yourself this is a dream that’s too big for me, this is a goal that’s too big for me, I’m literally gonna start crying. You need to know that you get to have it all. You get to go as big as you want to go.
Big is not some fancy business coach’s definition of big. Big is your definition of big. What does big mean to you? Maybe you want to get out of debt. Maybe you want to have a relationship and be a business owner. Maybe you want to make time for sisterhood and still grow your business. Maybe you want to be a mom and grow your business.
Whatever your definition of all of it is, whatever definition that is for you – own it. Hold it close to you. Hold it as the thing that’s the most sacred because guess what? That’s the thing that will eat you alive and stop you in your tracks if you let it.
But when you allow it to, that is the thing that will fuel you forward with a deeper conviction, with more passion with more presence with more truth than anything else. And that’s what makes you unstoppable. That’s what helps you.
If I can articulate to you what my special sauce is, what sets me apart, what gets me going, it’s this: you can do all of it. You can have all of it. But you have to be willing to stare down the barrel of that terrible fear.
Sticking To Plan A
What if that makes you want to go to your plan B? Don’t flake on your Plan A, sister. Don’t put flake on the thing that you actually want. Because when you lean into that, that’s when you get to have it.
It’s so inspiring to have conversations with women who have been playing small. They’ve been playing small because they want something that feels bigger than what they can either handle or what’s available to them.
The Power of Reclamation
They are ready to be done with that and it moves me like nothing else. It moves me so much because this reclamation is what changes the world. This reclamation of, “You know what? I’m done. I’m done being my own biggest freaking nightmare. I’m done holding myself back. Why am I doing this?”
First of all, we do it because we’re scared. We do it because we subconsciously are trying to protect ourselves from the failure that we don’t want to have. Which is such a weird dynamic. I don’t know why we do that.
But we have the power now in this moment – always in this moment – to turn it around. So this is my invitation to you. Are you ready to turn it around? How good are you willing to have it? How big are you willing to let yourself create and receive?
This is the revolution. This is what changes it all. If you would have told me six years ago that I used to work all year to make less than what I can make in two hours now – I would have been like you’re on drugs or you’re a scam artist. But that’s not possible for me.
It’s possible. It’s possible. It’s possible.
Tell yourself that whatever it is that you want, the income level that you want, the other life priorities that matter to you – be your own biggest advocate, and set your sights on where you’re going, not where you can’t get to. That’s how you get there. Ladies, that’s how you get there.
I had to come on here and share this with you. Because I want you to carry this, this potency inside you I want you to know, that wherever it is that you want to go, whatever you want to balance in your life, whatever and you want to have beside business owner and your identity, you get to have it all. And that starts with you. That starts with you getting out of your own way.
Don’t let that story stop you. Don’t let that story ferment and create this lethargic, doubtful, fearful energy that stops you from executing. We don’t need that.
We need your gifts. We need your conviction. We need your competence. We need you out there doing the thing because guess what? When you do the thing, you pave the pathway for someone else, when you do the thing. You light a path for someone else.
We need you. We need you doing it. We need you believing and we need you behaving as you believe.
I need you to know, do whatever you want. It’s possible. When you decide when you commit when you choose to tell yourself a story that moves you in the direction of everything. Of, “Yes, this is possible, this is happening.” Because guess what? When that’s where your energy is, that’s how you execute. That is what you get.