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Episode 133: What Intimacy, Vulnerability & Sisterhood Have to Do With Leadership with Victoria Lutzhof

Episode 133: What Intimacy, Vulnerability & Sisterhood Have to Do With Leadership with Victoria Lutzhof

Cait

Hello, and welcome to today’s episode of The Born to Rise podcast. I’m your host, Cait Scudder, and I am so excited to bring you guys our amazing guest today. Mama Vic in the house. Victoria. Thank you so much for being here.

Victoria
Thank you so much for having me. I I’ve actually rescheduled this interview a couple of times, not realizing it was our podcast interview, I thought it was our one to one. And I it’s just such divine timing that it’s today.

Cait
So perfect. I love it. You’re like about to get on a plane and a few hours, but it also coming off like the most epic, juicy, nourishing weekend. So I feel like, of course it had to happen today. Yeah, really trust it. So good. Well I’d love for our listeners who are not familiar with you, and the amazing freaking work that you do in this world. Tell us a little bit more about you and who you serve in this beautiful entrepreneurial world.

Victoria
Well, currently, and I think the overall the way that my gifts have come out is has evolved. And right now I’m really just so turned on and excited about serving turned on women, so women who are who are waking up to the fact that their power comes from the inside, from their pleasure from their, you know, expansion and money and like all those things from allowing themselves to have all these things, serving them in not just creating a coaching business because, you know, that’s what I saw, I was like, I need I just woke up to a coach, I just, you know, had this awakening and, but that their skills and their essence and their life force is like necessary nutrients in all realms of life. And so really, you know, I work with women who are who are versed in the feminine work and in the feminine world and, you know, are not necessarily new to it, I really do work with women who have been, you know, trying it on for a while. And yeah, just just so many different funnels in which my gifts have come out my soul base guess whether it’s like business coaching, I love do a little bit of that, but it’s really like, it’s really feminine leaders helping helping create, helping women create their revolution, their, their flavor of leadership, based in the feminine based in desire based in permission and their truth. And, and doing that, you know, whether they are stay at home mom, a coach, you know, in the ER or like serving at a restaurant, you know, it’s it’s not just for women who want to be coaches and service providers.

Cait
I love that so much. And I love that you said at the beginning of that answer like I my turn on is in coaching like turned on women and I will literally never forget the very first conversation that we had, I think it was like your rise discovery call and you were like, this is like my turn on. And I was like, Yes, this woman is like so connected to her desire and what motivates her and I just think it’s so beautiful that you are activating that in women and giving women just by like, the way you describe the work that you do so much permission to like, even pay attention to what turns them on because I think it’s like, very taboo and yes, okay, it’s the 21st century and we’re waking up but still, I feel like there’s a lot of taboo for women, like really going there with what feels pleasurable, what they desire, what they really really want and allowing that to like guide not only guide but truly like shape and lead their lives.

Why you should embrace what turns you on and connect with your body

Victoria
Yeah, yeah, and the thing that I’m finding to be true is like that flavor just the word turn on you know can be can be translated into like so many different ways whether that’s like what excites you what like, you know, invigorates you what fuels you it’s like, but it’s it’s a body based response like that’s been a lot of my healing work is like reconnecting to my body. I’ve you know, I had 10 years of chronic body pain. I was like, eating and drinking to numb and like, you know, mute my power essentially mute my connection with, with my source and with myself and. And I had a real strong aversion to like, turn the words like turn on and desire and no, I was in a practice where we use the word pussy. And I was like, I will never say any of those things.

Cait
God, I love that. And so tell us about like, how did your journey so shift and so change where now it’s like those words are like, the most essential part of your vocabulary? What helped that shift happened for you? Because I think there are so many women, right, especially in the business world, and those are a ton of our listeners hear like, words like that still feel like they raise an eyebrow? Or we feel like the patriarchy alive within us being like what view what, what places that have in a conversation about growth, personal development, business growth, money growth? Like what the hell does my pussy have to do with any of that?

Victoria
Yeah, oh, it’s so it’s sisterhood. It’s, it’s being in spaces, whether that’s, you know, programs I’ve been in, or, or just like, cultivating my community. And, you know, we would say like hiring like, I don’t pay my friends. But like hiring the women in my life, who will expand me, you know, some of my best friends are in this work intimacy coaches, and like, there’s such expanders for me, because they’re constantly pushing the edges and their own flavor. And, and then, you know, but but like, but really just being in the conversation being in constant and even in the, you know, I’m not living with them currently, but like, I’ve just spent five days with some of my best friends and, and they help me get back to my heart and get back to my body. And it’s, it’s such a vital nutrient. And it’s like, why I’m like, we can’t do this alone.

Cait
So true, so true. And yet, you know, we’re meant to feel like we’re doing it wrong, if we’re not doing it by ourselves. But I just could not agree with you more. And I love that you said sisterhood, and spoke to that I, you know, I think for a lot of women, women in their 30s Like women of any age, but I think you know, once you’re an adult, and like you’re not in college anymore. Building intentional community, I think can be something that’s really challenging for people, especially in like a post COVID world or whatever post in I don’t know what we are. But I don’t even know. But you know what I mean? Like, I think this sister, I think I think about the women, I mean, I’ve just had so many conversations with women where they’re like, yes, yes, that’s what I’m craving. But it’s like, the question is almost Where do I even start, and you are a woman who has such beautiful, flourishing, nourishing female relationships in your life. And I’m curious what you would say to a woman who is like, really craving to build her sense of community and sisterhood, but doesn’t really know where to start?

How to start building an intentional community and sisterhood

Victoria
Yeah, I mean, the way that I’ve met some of my best friends were was in my coach training, and in my programs, and so, you know, this is where like, you know, we joke like, we don’t hire our friends or pay for our friends, right? But we did in a way we’ve all invested in our in our own personal development and have continued to, like, challenge each other and up level and and bring that so that our we have a shared language. And so I would say like, if you are a woman craving that, like find your entry point, like maybe that’s a yoga community, maybe that’s a cooking class, maybe that’s like, you know, an online sisterhood group or whatever, like, it doesn’t really matter the form of it, you know, and it doesn’t really matter the topic of it, if you allow yourself so So find your own flavor would be my first thought. And then show up with your heart open without any attachment to getting any thing from. Hmm,

Cait
so beautiful. I’m just like, goosebumps as you said that and yes, I think it’s so true, like the value of putting yourself in the room and not just putting yourself in the room like with your arms crossed with your back up against the wall, but putting yourself in the room with your palms open and ready to show up and be vulnerable and be a human and not need anything out of it but also not be withdrawn. It like reminds me of dating, you know, if we’re showing up to a date or something really person’s gonna break my heart, like, I’m just gonna distance them like, of course, you’re not going to build a connection. But if you’re showing up like panting, the person’s probably gonna run away. It’s like so similar with sisterhood, isn’t it?

Victoria
Oh, totally. You know what I think we, there’s so much focus. I was just talking with a client about this the other day, like, she, she’s in her mid 30s. And she has a lot of pressures and like, wants to date and meet somebody and find this partnership and have this intimacy. And I’m like, great, how’s your sisterhood? She’s like, zero, couldn’t you? No one. And I’m like, well practice there. You know, like, practice there. Because intimacy is not typically reserved for the bedroom. Yeah, you know, some of the most intimate moments I’ve had, as of late are with my female friends. Yes. And it is so vulnerable. But we have one of my teacher, one of my teachers would say, if you’re not living with your heart open, you’re breaking hearts.

Cait
Mm hmm. Oh, my gosh, wow. What alignment

Victoria
I like have full body chills because it’s just, it’s so we go through our and here’s the other place, you know, practice at the coffee shop, this is my favorite examples, like, practice going into the coffee shop, there’s no risk, you’re getting a coffee, if you’re out in five minutes, right? There’s no risk. But when you’re checking out, ordering your coffee, just gaze in their eyes a little bit longer, like, genuinely pause and ask them how they’re doing. Like, see if you can just feel yourself expanding a little bit. Rather than just be like, can I have iced latte was oat milk and vanilla and like doing 10 Other things like, practice in these tiny moments. I’ve had some of the most amazing conversations with baristas, or shop, you know, shop runners or Uber drivers or whatever, because there’s no risk there. You know, it’s not like they’re gonna like, I don’t know, I’m guessing there’s a little little tea or coffee order if you like, kiss them off, but they can remake it, you know, Low risk, low risk. Um, but that’s really what you know, one of my core like principles and teaching and in my life and in my practices is like, small, sustainable shifts over time, create this long term dramatic change that we desire. Right? So it’s like, rather than leaving, and I hope you’re inspired from listening to this, like, rather than be like, I’m going to, like, meet 30 new girlfriends, like, do all these things like just practice opening your heart to like, your hairstylist, or your barista, or your you know, whatever. And like, see what happens there. Get a little bit of evidence for the fact that this works, it feels different. There’s some different energy exchange and then take it to the next level.

Cait
Yes, I love that so much, Vic. And I think that’s so like practical and such wise advice we can practice in these really small micro moments. And it’s the same thing. It’s like, that reminds me of you know, that line, how we do one thing is how we do anything. So if we’re like, I really want to find the soulmate love, but I’m like not available for intimate relationship anywhere else until I find it’s like, maybe we want to shift that behavior before we can expect that. And I just I love how that relates to everything. Right? It relates so much. And I know you do so much work with women around like the correlation and connection between intimacy pleasure, like, you know, all of that embodiment work and money. I think the same thing is so true, right? When we’re like, I want the 50k a month, or I want the 10k client or I want the this this and we’re like going after it with that kind of ferocity and intensity, and it just goes the other way. But when we’re soft when we’re open when we’re allowing, that’s when it comes in, in the most least expected ways.

Victoria
I just had a visual popped into my mind, I get a lot of these messages. And it was like, it’s like when you’re at the beach and the tide comes rushing in. What do you do you back up? Right? But when the tide comes out, you’re able to like, the waves come out, you know, the waves come in and you back up, it’s like, Oh, don’t get my feet wet, you know, but then the tide comes back out and you’re able to like walk in and your own pace and then you know, so it’s like it really is like you know and I help my clients like embody the distinction between outwardly pushing for something or being the ocean is still a superpower powerful in its recession of its ways, right? There’s so so much power there’s still so much weight and so much you know, vitality in that reclined position but it’s like the reclined power not the reclined like, you know, like like like Rapunzel or Cinderella like come and get me you know I need you to come and get me like it’s still from an action based place

Cait
Yes so true I love that you said that and it is it’s so powerful it’s so it’s like literally a magnetic pole towards it. So powerful I love that so much. I’m like having a meta moment right now Vic as we’re talking I’m like so moved by everything that you’re saying. And I’m also thinking in my head like I’m gonna cry I’m like, Emma is so freaking lucky to have you as her mom like to know that this is what she is understanding womanhood to be a mama who models like such beautiful healthy relationship with other women who modeled so much trust of herself in her own body who models profound trust with you know, just the cycles and the seasons in the feminine like it’s so, so powerful and I would love for you to just share with us about your you know, journey of motherhood, you have Emma you are doing like profound women’s work and how motherhood has really shaped you and your journey professionally, non professionally and all the ways.

What does motherhood have to do with leadership and entrepreneurship?

Victoria
Thank you so much for that reflection. I I deeply love being seen. It’s one of my it’s one of my love languages. My business is because of my daughter. My daughter was born in March of 2020 A week after the pandemic hit. And I did a lot of healing in my pregnancy. With I I mean, that was a transformational I had been doing some coaching before, like wasn’t really ever kind of on the spot meaning like it wasn’t fully going it wasn’t really working out really everted and when I got pregnant, I was like okay, what are what is any non serving belief or way of being that I do not want to, like what what do I want to let go of before I stepped into this portal of motherhood, and I went through the gauntlet, I like, you know, cleaned up my relationship to money meaning like, I let my husband know about I didn’t have a ton of credit card debt. But you know, like, there’s like a squirrely little one over here, like a random thing over there. Like places I was unclear like I went through, I had been financially supported by my family for most of my 20s in my like development and like I wasn’t really working and that was so vulnerable to like really let people see me in that because like who am I be this coach and it’s getting you know, it’s getting paid like family support money and there was just so much man so I cut myself off you know, or I like transitions you know, their support into another way that felt much more aligned. And I went back and I went back and felt through any female relationship that felt out of integrity like my first business coach heel back over this I first business coach I hired before I was like in desperate need of having a coaching business and I hired her and it for months, it was a ton of money. And I didn’t have a really coaching business afterwards. And I was like, Who’s this like, you know, I was always coming to her for the for my business and that wasn’t the spa and I got so much you know, out of that program not even from the program itself, but my learning from it cleaned up my relationships with all these women. And the because I was like I will not bring any of these things into this next room of my life. And and this all ties into like really bringing my coaching and this this serving thing that I’m doing I’m serving the feminine through me I don’t take any credit for like the wisdom and the words that come through me I am like a straight up channel. And the reason I decided to invest in rise and the reason I have my business today and the reason that I because I you know when we tell kids you can be anything you want to be I wasn’t going to be able to say that to my daughter with integrity of I did not go for it.

Cait
I’m literally gonna start crying. It’s so beautiful. So freaking beautiful. And like I said a few minutes ago, like, Emma is just so lucky to have you as her mama, like, paving that way because she then learns that that is how it’s safe to be like that in the world. And it’s safe to trust ourselves in that way. And it’s safe to, you know, like, not be afraid of our own shadow. And I’m just so moved back that you just shared like really practical real examples from your world of like, I mean, and it makes me think of my own pregnancy and really similar like, what do I need to look at? What do I need to let go of here? What fears do I need to release what you know, blah, blah, blah, like do that I’m like, wanting to protect her from because of ways that I’ve been hurt that have nothing to do with her? Like, where do I need to like clean that up? So I’m just like, oh my gosh, so much. Yes to everything you said. And it’s incredible. Like, do you remember reading I can’t remember where I read this. It was in one of those like beautiful preparing for birth or postpartum books of like, I think it’s somewhere early in the second trimester, maybe were like the Mito, I don’t know, I’m gonna mess this up, like mitochondria are like, in the in utero in development, like the baby’s ovaries form and you’re actually like carrying your grandchildren at the same time. And it just like makes me think about as you’re talking about this work that you did during your pregnancy. And like so in service of the feminine knowing you are going to birth a girl like you are literally had no idea she was Oh, you didn’t know she was a girl. That’s so interesting. That’s no idea. You knew that. So cool. Wow. So what a beautiful thing, but like to know and see now, like, the work that you are doing is literally changing the trajectory of the lineage of women that you are a part of, like, there’s nothing more cosmic than that.

Victoria
Yeah, I, I never was one for I never could get get behind like, political, like, you know, marches and activism, like, it just didn’t click for me, and I’m all about people having a stand and like, go and gay and do. And it wasn’t until I had my daughter. And I was like, challenged by, by not showing up in the way that I thought an activist or a leader was supposed to. There was this moment when I was like, I was listening to a podcast, I owe PETA Kelly, I don’t know, if you follow her, she’s great. She was talking about this concept of being like a backyard activist, like literally being like the mother with the child on her hip, like in her garden, and like, allowing that to be enough that I got this sense of like, Oh, my God, I will maybe never march on Wall Street, I will make or the Capitol, whatever, you know, I will probably never get on, but maybe not maybe, you know, the release, you know, I will I will make probably never have a political Inkling in my life. But I can impact people who can and who do and who want that. And that is still taking a stand. And that is still activism and data. So leadership and like, yeah, and that as soon as I kind of caught that wave of it. And you know, one of the biggest, like changes I made and that allowed me to really click in is when when I when we were working together. It was about creating your movement. Yes. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, I can finally feel for I’ve been I have been trying to coach since like, 2017. This was either December 2019. Or no, wait. 2020 21. When did we

Cait
Yeah. 20. Yeah, you joined 2020. Yeah.

Victoria
So like, let’s say like, three to four years after I was kind of like dabbling in coaching, that I actually had done enough excavation and inquiry and opening and all those things to sink into my movement.

Cait
Yes, I love that. And it’s just like so fitting. I know, you just launched a program called the revolution and it’s like, so perfectly fitting because that’s really what you’re doing. And as you’re describing this, that beautiful distinction of what other ways of being an activist or being a revolutionary or creating massive impact are available. It’s like, it’s so empowering and so I think relieving for a lot of women, whether they’re entrepreneurs or not, but I’m thinking specifically how wise Your words are like applied specifically to Entrepreneurship where it’s like there’s such a strong tidal wave of like I have to do it this way or I have to be this way in order to be a good entrepreneur or like a good feminist or what not even fit but you know, like a good women’s leader has to look like marching on Wall Street or to be a good entrepreneur it has to look like launching or leading in this way and I think your words are just so like such a breath of fresh air and so permission giving of like no you actually don’t you get to create massive impact by literally being the fullest essence of who you already are.

Victoria
Yeah, and letting go of any idea of what your life well I had to you know, as I say, from my own I had to let go time and time again any idea I could possibly have created about what my life was gonna look like or should look like or just like I’m in time again.

Cait
So this like I want to like zoom in here because I think this exact thing you’re talking about of letting go this is precisely where us control freak women go like okay, I was with you until now but like letting go completely Vic like what I’m not really sure I’m all for this anymore.

Victoria
Oh hi recovering Control Freak recovering worrier right here. Well, I where we are, we are, you know, what is it? Like an immediate like, Hi, my name is Victoria.

Cait
Seriously, but like I think this is so I mean, I couldn’t agree with you more. I think just in that exhale, releasing, letting go trusting that it’s all coming for us in a more like beautiful and miraculous way then we could ever know. Like on a soul level. I think a lot of women hear that maybe some are like very skeptical and are like yeah, right. But I think a lot of women hear that and feel this like Soul resonance, but cognitively or like their brain. There’s so much resistance. And so I’m curious if you could not necessarily like take us through a practice. But I’m so curious if you could kind of speak into that. Almost white knuckling that women and I’m sure you get this so much in your world Vick with the women that you work with, but like women who are yearning actually to loosen that grip, and to allow that feminine trust and flow to move through them and to like, be the new current of their life. How do you recommend supporting women for whom letting go in that way feels like death like it feels that scary?

Ways to make space for feminine trust and flow

Victoria
It’s such a death in this circle, this circles back to having sisterhood, right? Like do not, I do not recommend trying to do this alone. It is so intense. And I just want to name that because it it will feel like a little bit of a death. And here’s the thing about desire, because what you know, under every complaint is is a desire, right? And so there’s like this, this white knuckle gripping to like what is but what’s underneath is a desire for like freedom or time you know, time freedom or more money or more time with your family or like whatever it is, right? So that would be the first kind of pivot and like refound offers be like, what you can’t focus on the not like I don’t want to be controlling is like, not helpful. Right? So why why do you want to let go of that control? What is it that you do desire? What is it that you do want your life to feel and look like? And then the thing about desire is it’s not actually in the attainment of the desire that you get the gift, or what you’re looking for. In the act of just bringing it into the air, speaking it, letting it out. Like, bless my husband, you know, I’m like, I want to go to Florida. He’s like, great, get on this train. And then I’m like, I want to go over here. Great. Get on this train, right? It’s like, and my whole thing right now is releasing control around like where we’re living and like, like traveling, like we’ve been across the US from Denmark across the US and back to Michigan already in this month. And I think we’re going to come back to again, and I’ve just had to like, completely let go of any idea that I have a plan and a nice little structure. It’s like when when we’re truly in desire in service to desire in service to the feminine like, that chair is messy. And that’s why we don’t do it alone. Yes. And now that I’ve had practice doing it in small places like, I don’t know, I can, I don’t know, go back to your coffee, right? Let somebody else make your coffee for you or right. But like, like, find small ways to practice releasing control because in that you get to experience stepping into an unlived version of your life. And then in that you get evidence for the fact that voicing your desire, following your desire, allowing your desire out like that, that actually works. And you can trust it a little bit more, it’s like, don’t go and quit your job, if that’s going to send you off the cliff,

Cait
Like your nervous system into meltdown mode.

Victoria
Yeah, find your range, find your range to play. And the thing about that is like we as women have a much larger capacity to have and to hold and to be and to do than we allow ourselves. Mm hmm. So that’s one of my favorite things to coach on and work on, like, That’s it, let’s go, you know, but it really it really is, one thing just came through letting go of any non serving things. And what I mean by non serving, and like this is this is like, you know, is like, if you are not getting energetically filled out by that thing, you either need to shift it or release it.

Cait
Yes, I think that’s so powerful. And so. So, confronting, I think for a lot of women who are like, we learn to either numb ourselves, or we learn to just like, it’s good enough and accept it as it is, or don’t say anything, don’t be the squeaky wheel, or, you know, whatever, we learn all of these things, but I think what you’re speaking into of like, Hey, pay attention to your life and pay attention to how you feel inside of it. And if there are elements of it, that are really not lighting you up, like you are the driver, you’re in the driver’s seat, you get to call the shots.

Victoria
I was I was working on a in our revolutionary woman called the other day, a couple of women were talking about all the chaos in their life, right. And like, I have, like I’m doing to be surprises, and I’m moving in a tornado hit my house, and I have child support and like all these things, and and I reflected very bluntly, which is how I work out beat around the bush, that that chaos is their creation. And the extent of that chaos, like how big these things are, how annoying these things feel, is the is the is a great representation of the impact and size of their power of their bigness. Night. And so being like, wow, if we are if you are willing to, you know, take radical responsibility for your impact in the world, the energy that you spend in creating all this chaos, or just focusing on it more like you can get a parking ticket and it can ruin your day or it can be like a hiccup, you know, so recognizing you can funnel that power, funnel that into creation is a game changer.

Cait
Yeah, absolutely. Recognizing that we get to choose the theater role. We’re either the victim or we’re the hero or the protagonist or the person that it’s all happening to. Or we are like Neo in the Matrix, you can stop the bullets with our hands and you just be like, No, actually, we get to change. I love it so much. It’s so so powerful. I’m curious, Vic, like one thing that I really like to get into in the podcast is, you know, it’s obviously called Born to Rise, you are very intimate with the rise theme. Having been in the rise mastermind all year, but I’m curious like for you, if you could speak to a time in your life in your business journey that you felt like you had to dust yourself off or things did not go you know, easy and according to plan I’m just I’m thinking about the women who are at the gym or at home cooking or on a run or listening to this wherever they are. They’re like oh my god, this woman is so wise so vast, so like plugged in. She’s just got womanhood femininity, like completely figured out. And I think it’s really easy to forget that everyone’s human and has had to like go through things and learn through things and fall down to rise up and I’m curious if you like if anything comes to mind that you would feel called to share and how you allowed yourself to pick yourself Have up and rise from the ashes.

How Victoria was called to rise from the ashes

Victoria
I have two stories that are coming to mind. You just feel the one that that is the most prevalent is like the conversation, a conversation that I was just in this weekend. So I’ll share that first because it ties into sisterhood and, and being vulnerable. And then with the other that came up with like, maybe

Cait
You can share it, or both.

Victoria
Well, the thing that in my in my business and like in my life, there was a there in the summer, I’ll just share about this first one, I can share what the other one is, like, this summer, I was in Rise mastermind, you know, had a huge launch at the beginning of the of the program, and in January, had a $54,000 launch, like the program was running, it was great. And then the summer came. And I have now been, you know, kind of looking at what happens to me in the summer for the past couple of years. And it’s just, it’s like my winter. And I really did I really got confirmation that this year. But it was a it was I was so I pushed a program start date to the fall I like just needed to clear off my space and my financial numbers having just invested in a program, we just hired some team, like really expanding and like March and April May come June, July and August, it was like chaff cookies, like nobody was showing up. Nobody you know, and like by nobody was trying, I mean, like I really wasn’t available for it either. I just hadn’t owned that. And I didn’t, I wasn’t able to pay myself. I don’t remember exactly like a couple of those months, I wasn’t able to pay myself, I had to check in and actually asked my family for a small loan to just like make sure that like we were at like baseline, but I wanted to make sure we didn’t dip into into the red. Um, so I you know, I checked in with myself and I was like, is because I’ve done you know, like I shared I had done so much in releasing the need to depend on my family for financial support. So I really had to, like, sit with like, is this aligned? Or am I like going back into like an old pattern of like, oh, well, nevermind, I’m not gonna make it. Like it really felt like, I had this big expansion, this big launch. And that was a that was it. That was the hoax. That was like that was that was a one time thing. And I was like, I mean, you know, I came to some of those one on one calls just be like, What do I do? And, and, and it was, it was humiliating, because here I am trying to be a coach or being a coach. But like feeling so insecure about my own business finances, like how I was, you know, I did not feel like I was on my game. I did not I was not able to really get into my practices. I was like, it was just I was you know, on vacation with family and like having wine and tequila and you know, enjoying my life. But it was like, I really felt like that was kind of a fluke. And thank God I was in a long term container in her eyes, that I just like to keep coming back to the mat. Be like, what can I do here that would just give me a little bit of more clarity Have you feel a little bit more grounded in my body have you feel a little bit more expanded and a little bit more like I can breathe and a little and that was you know, that was pushing my program start date, like I started enrolling for a program that was supposed to start in June and it was just like, not going, you know, and I had to there was already a few women in it and I really had to check in and be like, I need I think I need to move excuse me, I think I need to move this until the fall because it’s just not going to go right now. And I did that and one dropped and two stayed and they’re still in the program now that started in September which is so amazing. And and it was like it was that was kind of it was but I didn’t I didn’t give up

Cait
i think that’s so powerful and I’m so glad that you shared that because I think like this is the beauty and I was just having another call with one of our other rise sister Stephanie who’s like all about like feminine cycle and form things and I it’s reminding me of our conversation hearing you speak because I think like knowing your own seasons and like summertime for you is like your business winter. It’s the time that you’re off. It’s the time you’re kind of like hibernating from a business marketing output perspective and like fully living and other things. And I think you know, one of the things I’d say all the time is like making ourselves wrong is like the biggest enemy of any kind of growth in business. And I think it’s so easy to feel like, Wait, hold on, I just had a $54,000 launch, like, Who is this girl, they can’t even pay herself this month, like What is even happening. There’s like a total ego blow there. But when we can kind of like soften that really fear based gaze and like, see it more holistically, seasonally. don’t ascribe a meaning to it. I think that’s where again, like you’re speaking to so beautifully you can, you can make the shift, you can push the program start date back, you can find your rhythm again, and you can start to market and put yourself out there and remind yourself that Oh, actually, you know exactly what to do to make money. It’s just that you weren’t in the zone. And like, that’s okay.

Victoria
Yeah, it’s like, humbly, just being like, like, you know, it’s not me, like, It’s my business. It’s my, it’s whatever. And we have to be in alignment, we have to be in agreement that like this is gonna go, Oh, yeah. And just so humiliating and so wonderful. At the same time, I’m like, a little bit of a glutton for punishment, I think because I, I do chase these moments of like, wow, this is bringing me to my knees. But you know, the best part about it now is like, I know that this summer, I’m not going to try and launch a program. Like I’m, you know what I’m like,

Cait
when, right, it’s not only 50k, 100k a month, that’s the win. It’s like, Oh, I know myself more intimately now. And I can structure my business to support my life. And I can structure like my launch timelines to support my energy. And I just think that’s so beautiful. And I know because you know, of just working with you like the last lunch you did, like you’ve already implemented that, like selling without sales calls, selling from your couch, like building making tweaks and like having a super successful launch and being able to sell and to make those tweaks and not have it be like, it must be this way. It has to be hard. I have to punish myself. Like, no, I get to make the tweaks in my business to support my life.

Victoria
Yeah, yeah. And then hiring people to help do things that are not I’m not good at is like a whole nother conversation, you know, but just really allowing myself to still, like I, you know, there was times when I wanted to pull out a rise, there was times I wanted to let go of my project manager, and I was like, I will not contract in the face of what looks like contraction.

Cait
Yes. Because it’s about the long term experience. I mean, that’s like, you know, how many, maybe I’m speaking for myself, but like, when we’re in any sort of commitment, right? I mean, like a marriage or parents like when, you know, anytime that it gets hard, or anytime you’re like, fuck this shit, like, what is this about? Like, I didn’t sign up for this part? It’s like, oh, no, but actually, I did, like I am in it for all of it. And the wild, beautiful highs also mean that there are challenging valleys and like, this is all of it.

Victoria
Yeah, it. I think that’s one of the like, most what are the like, the shadows of this have so much feminine work, like, like, there’s a lot of like feminine coaches and feminine leadership. And I really love that and applaud that. But I think there’s, there’s this idea that like, if you’re sad, if it’s not working, if it’s hard, if it looks messy, then it’s not the feminine, but that’s actually the feminine, like, like, think about like childbirth, like that is not clean that. I mean, it’s clean. It’s like not like organized.

Cait
It’s not it’s not a sterile, like environment.

Victoria
It’s likethere’s mess, there’s liquids, there’s gooz, there’s sounds, there’s contractions, which is actually an expansion of your body. It’s just such a funny word that we use. And, and yeah, so like, if, if you’re at all, like, excited and turned on and just like, open to wanting to change something, and then it kind of feels like shits hitting the fan like that means it’s working.

Cait
Oh my gosh, that reframe is everything. And it honestly is and it goes back to what I think you were saying before, like, it’s all about the story that we tell ourselves just like the parking ticket could be like, the end of your life and like the most horrible thing of your entire week, or it could just be like, oh, cool, gotta pay the town. 20 bucks, like whatever. You know, it’s it’s the same thing with like, a bad month or a couple months. It’s like that could be mean that you need to like put your resume on LinkedIn and like quit your entrepreneurship immediately and like quit all your programs fire all your team members and like hide under a rock or it could mean ah, I’m going through a little funk right now, I wonder what that’s about. Let me like, Let me listen to that. Let me get curious about that. Let me just be in it. And like, I just, it’s so powerful. I love that

Victoria
And zooming out from like, the, you know, I was I just was laughing because I was thinking about when I first met my now husband and like, we would have a fight. And I’d be like, he’s gonna leave me I gotta leave it like it was like one fight and I would be like, it’s over. Right when he would be like, what like, it hadn’t even crossed his mind that that was like a possibility. And, and so it’s like, zooming out of like, what is the partnership that we’re creating what is like, you know, in my business, it’s like, one lower month is like not a fair assessment of the health and vitality of my business. One fight is not it’s not any indicator. I actually love friction with my partner because that means we have we have polarity we have spots to grow we have like, that is why we’re actually together you know, if there’s not any friction in your, in your life like that, you know, we were looking for friction. We’re looking for grit. That’s where like the golden nuggets are and most of my calls I asked my clients to find the golden nuggets. Yes.

Cait
Oh my god. Find the nugget. Yeah,

Victoria
I love that.

Cait
Oh my god, Vic, this has just been like the juiciest conversation. I can’t believe it’s been like nearly an hour’s so good. I want to ask you one final question and then I’m gonna let you share with our listeners how we can find you follow along just be connected to all things mama Vic in your world. If you had to leave our listeners with one golden nugget, one piece of advice, one pearl of wisdom. What would it be?

Victoria
Listen to your body.

Cait
I am not joking. I literally when you close your eyes, no one can see this because we’re on video. But no one else. No, I literally knew that you were going to say those words.

Victoria
It was very loud. And then I asked I was like, Is there anything else? No. Okay.

Cait
So beautiful. I mean, nothing could be more profoundly feminine and profoundly wise than that. Vic, this has been such an incredible conversation. Thank you so much for sharing yourself your fullness, you’re just incredible. Incredible. So with us, I feel I feel so honored to have had this conversation. And I’m so excited for everyone who gets to hear it. Tell our listeners how they can follow along with you get more of your content, your inspiration, get plugged in to some of your offers, tell us where to find you.

Victoria
Yeah, I’m on Instagram at mamavic. And the thing that I want to invite everybody into his a new container, new space and monthly call that I’ve just created. That’s called Transmission Tuesdays. And it’s just to give you a taste of like, like I have no plans for these calls. It’s like I have no plans for this podcast. I know. There’s no agenda, there’s no schedule, but it’s women in my programs in my private coaching and in my sphere. You know who who want a taste? who need a little reminder who want a little breath of fresh air a little deepening a golden nugget or two, you know, but it’s it’s $44 a month, I really feel so committed to making sure that anyone who wants to access any part of my work can in a way. So it’s $44 a month or $444 for a year and if you sign up I don’t know when this is coming out. But if you sign up, send me a message and we’ll throw in some bonuses there if you listen from the podcast because we have a we have some some special bonuses until our first call. Our first call is November 16. So I’ll just say that now but it’s going year round.

Cait
Oh my god Vic. That sounds like such a yummy nourishing beautiful offer we will put those links in the show notes for you to find Vic on Instagram and definitely DM her about her new offer that just sounds so so juicy

Victoria
And if you listen I would love to hear one of my favorite things is reflections and I would just love to hear like what came up for you what got triggered what was inspiring like I’m so here for that so please, please Please yeah reach out and let me know

Cait
So beautiful thank you so much for being here Vic

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Hey, I'm Cait!

Boss mama, wife, and 7-figure CEO empowering women to build profitable, purpose-driven businesses that change the world.

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