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Episode 88: Practicing Self-Love & Releasing Your Radiance

Episode 88: Practicing Self-Love & Releasing Your Radiance

Cait: Tell us what you do. Tell us this movement that you are building and just making such waves in the online space. 

Sabi: Yes, I’m Sabi and I’m a self-love coach, I guide women to love themselves. To fall deep in love with who they are to feel really worthy. So that they can create magic in every area of your life. Your business, your relationships, and everything in between is radically transformed. When you have what when you know your work is like that is the biggest game-changer for every single part of your life. So yeah, that’s kind of in a nutshell, what I do. 

Cait: I love that so much stuff. And I love the way that you speak of it and how interconnected like the external results, right? Like the deepening of the relationship, the success in business, I love how you are just so fierce and committed to bringing the conversation back to what’s the inner work happening, what’s the worthiness game that we’re bringing to whatever it is that we’re doing. 

And I’m so curious, how you got started in this work and what really birthed this? Because I know a little bit about your background. You’ve are a yoga teacher as well so you have that skillset that you bring to the table. I’m curious how you saw this need starting to emerge with women, you know, in all walks of life really lacking this self-love muscle and how you transition into self-love coaching?

Sabi’s Journey To Self-Love Coaching

Sabi: So I guess just to take it back a little bit. And I’ve told this story quite a few times. Now I think it’s quite important because I’ve done lots of different things before coming into coaching. And that was a massive self-love journey for me, letting myself experience different parts of me in terms of work. But it also meant that I was able to connect with many different types of people. 

So I was super academic at school and I was kind of having this decision to make between, “Do I go to university and study something really serious? Or I also love dance. Do I go to like a dance college and do that?” I kind of decided to do a bit of both. 

I went to a dance college for a year, then I studied economics at a serious university in London. And, and after that, I took a year out and danced. I auditioned I like did the whole thing. And then I went to work at a management consultancy like a big four and I did by I tried to see what that would be like for a little bit. 

All of my peers at university were going off to be investment bankers and I kind of knew that wasn’t for me. But I got given this job, which is a ‘good job’. I’ve done like air quotes, right? That’s the job that if you’re an economics grad, you’re supposed to do and I thought I’d try it for a little bit. But realize that it was not for me. And so I left after not very long. I then decided to try school teaching so I got my school teaching qualification and taught in London primary schools for a couple of years. 

So I’m a school teacher who taught in a really really challenging London primary school for a couple of years.  Then I did subbing in different schools all across London. So all up until this point, I hadn’t started yoga. I hadn’t even thought about coaching. There was this real journey of letting myself explore different parts of me without having to know that this is going to be the final thing, this is the one thing.  

A big block for people when it comes to finding your purpose is figuring out what you’re passionate about. So my whole like ethos is really about encouraging people to follow their curiosity. And that’s a big part of self-love for me. 

And so as I was going on that journey, I eventually came to yoga and fell in love with it. And I was like, alright, I need to teach. And did my first teaching qualification, yoga teacher training in India started teaching. And the more I got into that, the more I was like, I need to do more than just teach a 60 minute vinyasa class. I want to be able to go deep with people. 

So I knew I needed to do something in the realm of coaching, and I did a coaching certification. And once I had that certification, I was kind of just calling myself a life coach. So just like a generic life coach and I wasn’t being too specific with my niche. I just wanted to help everyone. 

Niching Down On Who She Serves

I knew I needed to get a bit more specific on exactly what I am helping people with. I looked at all of the different clients I’d already had and whether I was helping them with their business, or figuring out what they wanted to do in their life, or working on them with relationship stuff. 

Every single time, the glue that was linking all of this together, was the worthiness piece and their relationship with themselves. And then even my journey that I’ve been on, and in all of the different careers I’d had, like self-love was such a big part of my journey. So it just was like, it was obvious. It kind of became obvious that that was the work that I was doing. 

Cait: Beautiful, I love that so much. And I love hearing you describe like in your own path, you know, just going to a lot of different fields, the way that you describe, you know, kind of the pressure that a lot of us feel around knowing our purpose, or like finding our passion or having the one thing that lights us up the most. 

And I love the way that you described following your curiosity, instead of knowing what that purpose is. It feels so much more organic and natural and real, to be honest. Most of us don’t wake up and know that this is like first thing out of the gate. This is what I meant to do with my life. It’s a process of unfolding. And I love the way that you describe, you know, that realization that you had the common thread tying everything together was this deep inner work. 

So, you work with a very specific kind of woman, a woman who’s really ready to examine all the ways that she’s she’s either putting been putting herself last or how deepening the self love layer is going to just expand her in all these areas of her life, a woman who’s actually ready to go there. I’m curious, whether it’s with your clients, or if you share in your own journey,  what is the biggest resistance point that most of us have to looking inside? 

I mean, I’m in the business space, as you know. And I think that so often, we want to address problems on the surface, we want to address what’s not working here, what didn’t work with this? Is my email sequence wrong is my call to action wrong, or you know, in a relationship is he the wrong guy, or, you know, we tend to look outside. 

It just sounds like so much of your work is about bringing your people back to inside and looking at what’s going on there. So talk to us about that process. What are the blocks that come up and what’s the gold? 

Finding Gold On The Inside

Sabi: Yeah, it’s really uncomfortable and not all the time. Not all the time there’s so much gold and so much beauty there. But if you’re not used to sitting with yourself, it can be really really uncomfortable. 

We live in a society that likes to numb everything. Netflix, drugs, drinking, shopping, food and with anything other than being with you. So for people that aren’t used to being with their feelings, being with their emotions being with their stuff, it can feel really really uncomfortable. 

For me, that is the gold. Radical self love is a like a welcoming in of every single part of you, especially the parts that you don’t want other people to see, especially the parts that you feel ashamed of. All of those shadow parts when you can learn to welcome them in with love as well. Everything begins to shift how you relate to yourself and then how you relate to everything else in your life shifts as well. 

Cait: You just said that so beautifully. And I think that what really just stood out to me is the parts of us that don’t want to be seen. I talk in business a lot about letting yourself be seen and I just see how much that there’s so much correlation between like the self-love work and being able to translate that skill set. I mean, whether it’s business or in a relationship if we’re hiding ourselves and we’re not willing to be our authentic selves. Because we’re rejecting some part of that. Of course, we’re not going to magnetize that like authentic, sexy, raw, real love. 

Talk to us about that process of, of allowing ourselves to be uncomfortable. It’s uncomfortable, because it’s an edge, it’s uncomfortable because it’s a skill set we haven’t practiced before. How would you like for our listeners who are listening to know, aha, this is what I didn’t think I needed to go and do. But oh, my God, this is exactly the work I need to do. Like talk to us about that process of like, gently moving in that direction of allowing ourselves to be seen, of allowing those parts of ourselves that we’ve kind of kept locked inside to start to open up and be shared.

Sharing Your Inner Self

Sabi: I love this, and I love you bringing business into it and relationships, because so often the inner work to do, like that’s gonna help your business. It’s exactly the same stuff that’s gonna help you with your relationships. And even like nourishing, like is for me a self love practice. 

Business is a self-love practice. Letting yourself be seen showing up online. nailing your niche is a practice of you being able to stand up and say like, this is me, this is what I do. I’m an expert at this, I’m great at what I do. 

Really owning it requires you to feel rooted in your work and letting yourself be seen in your authenticity. It’s the practice of letting go of needing to be for everyone. Because if you try and be for everyone, you’re not going to be for anyone really. 

And so self-love is that it’s a practice of showing up as you so that the people that are for you, whether that’s your perfect partner, whether that’s your ideal client. They will gravitate to you when you are being you and our energy is everything. We’re always looking for the partner or the coach, like because of their energy, not because of all of the other stuff, right? 

How We Choose Coaches

It’s that energy. It’s how they talk on their Instagram stories. It’s is their tone of voice, it’s their authenticity. And I think the more I allowed myself just to be me, the more I’ve attracted clients that are for me. And so that’s, that’s been a massive game changer for me. And it’s something that I see all the time with people I work with, as well. 

Show up as you. It’s that simple. It’s such a cliche, right? And but then you do it and you’re like, Oh, wow. This is the thing, it’s not only a thing, but it’s the thing. This is the most results generating thing that you could possibly do. 

Cait: And I love that you brought up like the specifics of how you show up on an Instagram story. Because I mean, that’s just such a classic and crystal clear example of how letting that authentic voice letting that ownership and expression of who you actually are shine through. Just allowing your people to see you more deeply. Whether it gives people the opportunity to fall in love with you more, to know you more and to want to lean in and come closer. 

Letting Your Authentic Voice Out

I’m just thinking back as you’re talking about this process to the beginning of my business journey, but also the beginning of my relationship. I don’t know if you’ve heard me tell this story Sabi, but it was the night that I met Toby. We were down on the beach and after we’d been up at dinner and kind of crossed paths in this really weird way – I just heard these words coming out of my mouth, and I freaked out after. 

I was like, “Oh my god, Cait. You’re so dumb. Why would you just make yourself so vulnerable?”

But here is what I said, “If you really let me see you, and I really let you see me something magical could happen here.” Those are the words that I said. And it was like this profound like sky opening, divine moment. 

And then I was like, Oh, my God, he’s gonna run. And he didn’t. But that was the truth. And that’s exactly what you’re describing, and this work that you do is so so needed. 

I think so much in the business phase is us wanting the quick hit. We don’t want to be told, hey, the reason that your Instagram isn’t converting as a lead generator is because you’re not actually being you. 

We want to know the hashtags that are going to get me discovered. What are the calls to action? What do I need to make a Reel? We want these surface level things. And as you say, like the rough thing, the needle mover, is this deeper inner work. 

I mean, you are such a queen of this Sabi. We’ve been connected for a year and a half, but I’ve watched you fully expand and express the fullness of who you are. I remember the first dance videos that you put online. I was like, Holy smokes, this woman, has beyond exquisite physical beauty. You have this confidence and ownership that’s just dazzling. 

Talk to us about the relationship between inner work going deep into that well of self-love, and the confidence that you can build on the outside because you haven’t used that word yet. But I just feel like that’s such a huge part of what you help your clients with. 

Self-love, Self-worth, Confidence, & Empowerment

Sabi: Yeah, absolutely. I think for me, when I talk about self-love, and self-worth, confidence, and feeling empowered, like, that’s all part of the past. When you love yourself, when you feel really worthy, when you know who you are, you’re going to be radiating that confidence. 

Because you know who you are, you know you’re incredible. Allowing yourself to step into that is the biggest game changer. You mentioned dance stuff. For me, it’s actually been really beautiful. For me personally, the more I’ve explored ways to express my work, the more I realized that parts of me love dancing. And that’s always going to be part of me, but I didn’t know that I was going to be able to use it in my work. 

And actually, in Release Your Radius, which is my group program, we bring lots of movement, we bring in meditation, we bring in tools from yoga, and, and for me, even my business, I feel like it’s an expression of me. It’s an expression of all of the things I love, all of the things that have shifted things for me personally, that have helped me to feel so confident and empowered, I can then bring them all together. 

At first, I thought I had to be so specific with my niche and just stay doing this one thing. But then the more I allow myself to bring in all the things that I do, it’s like, I’m still in the self-love niche, but almost like in my own way. And I can actually do so many different things now. So it’s been like the most incredible journey for me. 

Cait: I love hearing that. I imagine as you do that work with your clients as well, it’s like they’re just given so much permission to reclaim all of these different parts of themselves that they thought like, Alright, well, these are good, but that doesn’t fit here. So I have to leave that out, which is the opposite of self-love. 

It’s like, okay, I accept 75% of me, but I’m going to reject this other part. And what you’re describing so beautifully is just like, what happens when we pick an area, we pick a problem that we help people solve it, but the way that we do that is through all of the parts of us. 

I’m curious if you’ve gotten the feedback ever from clients that you work with privately, clients that are inside of Release Your Radiants, people who come to your amazing workshops. I’m curious if you’ve heard from any of them. Wow, you know, I watched your dancing videos, or I saw you doing this, and it really made me want to know more like have you had that feedback before? 

Why You Shouldn’t Leave Out Any Part Of You

Sabi: Yeah, absolutely. I’ve heard people booked discovery calls because they’ve seen my dance videos, which is crazy. Because after my coaching certification, I was like, right, I need to be a serious Life Coach, you know. And there’s that temptation to leave out the parts that might not look so serious and professional.

But those are the key pieces that people want to see. Because people want to be able to watch, move like that or feel really feminine in their body. And so for me, it’s been like the more that I have let all of those bits be seen as well as an expression of myself. And as a kind of a part of my brand. It’s attracted people that are interested in that kind of energy as well. 

Cait: Oh my god, that is so cool. And I just think for anyone who’s listening, who’s ever felt like you have to do it the right way. Or you’ve been taught this formulaic approach to growing a successful business or having clients or having people interested in your work, please go back, rewind, listen to this part. 

Because what you’re saying is so important. It really can be that easy that that flowing of like, letting those passions come forward and having clients book with you, because they see what you invite. What you’re describing is that as each individual person does the inner work, the embodiment of accepting themselves deeply is the magnet energy to anything that we want. 

Embodying What You Teach

Sabi: Yeah, absolutely. I love that example that I shared with you about like, videos and me dancing. Because it’s like those things that people are more interested in, rather than a post with a putting a call to action at the end saying book a discovery call. 

People are way more interested, especially in this kind of work,  in the post where they can see that you are the body – as the coach or as the leader or as the facilitator. You being the embodiment of what that person is wanting, then being able to see in you, the leader. You are embodying what you’re teaching, and I think that that’s like one of the most important things in this industry as coaches, teachers, healers, or whatever you call yourself. You are doing the work and you are feeling and living and breathing. What you’re sharing is so important. 

Cait: Oh my gosh, it’s so good. It reminds me I don’t want to misquote anybody, I think it’s Maya  Angelou, I might be misquoting but that quote that says, you know, people will forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel. 

It’s such a powerful room. I mean, for all of us, really. But in the, in the space of leadership and in the space of business. It’s so and in the space of marketing, quite frankly, it’s so so true. And I think that that’s, that’s such a powerful reminder. I’m so, so glad that you said that. I just I love that I have that line that you shared earlier, like meeting is an act of self-love. It’s such a cool perspective. And it’s such a powerful one for anybody in the business space, who’s looking at an angle that isn’t going to the deepest layer that actually is going to set them free. 

Making Space In A Saturated Market

Sabi: When I was in Bali, I remember sitting in a cafe with my partner at the time, and I was trying to get specific on my niche. And I wasn’t calling myself a self-love coach yet. But it was quite obvious that that was the work that I was doing. 

I was also writing a monthly self-love column for a really big yoga magazine in the UK and I still wasn’t calling myself a self-love coach. I was still like just a generic life coach. And I realized that a big reason why I didn’t want to claim that niche was because it looked like everyone was already doing it. 

I was living in Bali, you know where it feels like everyone’s a self-love coach. So it felt like everyone’s already doing it. It’s so cliche, it’s so overdone. Can I like can I really take up space in an oversaturated market, things that so many other people are doing. And the biggest shift for me was like the light bulb moment for me was such a simple decision simply like, I can take up space too. And I can do it in my own way. And really giving myself like permission to say yes, there are so many other people that are doing similar work, but no one is you and therefore no one is going to be doing it in the way that you do it. 

So I think that’s just really applicable to everyone in this space, wherever you are at in your journey. If you’re looking at people on the ground, and you’re like, I can’t take up space there, there are too many other people. But no one is you, you are going to find your own unique way of doing the work that you do. And when you allow yourself to tap into that, that’s when the magic comes. That’s when I felt the biggest shift, when I’ve allowed myself to do this work in my own unique way. 

Cait: Oh my god. It’s not a side note, it’s like an important freaking thing. And I’m so glad you said that. Because that is really an empowerment expansion journey, right? We get to this thing of like, Yes, I realize my power, I know my voice. And then the next kind of hurdle or inner block to overcome is, being okay with all these people are doing it. 

Personality wise, I think a lot of times in the online space, it’s easy for people to look at people with very extroverted, very loud, center stage lights, and fireworks personalities and think, those are the people who get to take up space. And if I do it in my way, there’s not room. But we need to overcome that block.

I want to take this a little deeper, because I just think this is so important for anybody who’s listening, and not just in the beginning stages of business, but at any single stage as you go along. It requires a real integration of the fullness of all that you are, in the fullness of everything that you offer in the fullness of how you might have grown and expanded and changed and what you can integrate and own in yourself and in your story. 

What would you say to somebody who has resistance exactly like you did? Who has the narrative of there are already so many people doing this? Or I don’t want to do it in this way? Or, am I just going to be another person clogging up Instagram? What would you say to somebody who’s in that kind of mental thought process?

Overcoming The Resistant Mindset

Sabi: You literally have to make the decision to do it anyway. It feels like it’s so hard to do when you’re not there yet and when you’re in the early stages of it. This is why niching is the work of self-love. Because you have to stick it on your Instagram bio, you have to shout out loud and say I am the expert at this. And you can only do that if you’re feeling really confident and you know your work and you’ve done that work. 

But for anyone that is feeling unsure, I think the reminder is just take that decision that you are going to explore taking up space in that niche. And you get to change your mind. You know, this is not like you’re stuck there forever. You get to change your mind. I think this is something that stops so many people before they even get going. 

Cait: Give yourself that self permission to change your mind. That is an act of self love. I love and accept me now. And I love and accept that me in five months from now and two days from now might be totally different. 

Sabie: Yeah, absolutely. That’s why I see every single thing as an act of self-love and every single decision we make in our businesses and that self-love. And when you allow that to be there, everything else is way lighter. And that kind of links what I was talking about earlier, like colorful courage. Giving myself permission to change my mind and to decide when I wanted to do something different has been like the biggest gift to myself. So I think that’s important to know that we get to change our minds about our niche about our business about the offers and obviously like maybe not every other day. You know, like let’s be consistent at something for a while. But just knowing that you’re not stuck with it forever, I think is really important. 

Cait: Totally. And I also think it’s beautiful that you’re sharing this. From where you are now, you have a profitable beautiful business that is built from your gifts – you doing exactly your souls work is and something that lights you up every single day and I think for a lot of people we’re in that process of kind of bumping around and figuring it out, it can kind of feel like scary, like we’re never gonna arrive. We’re never gonna find the thing.

What you’re describing is this permission to really deeply experiment, to deeply listen and to, and to then follow what feels the most true. And to then stick with that long enough to really gain momentum and traction. It’s such a, it’s such an important reminder, I feel, especially for someone who feels like they haven’t quite gotten there yet, or they haven’t had their breakthrough yet. It’s coming. 

Sabi: Yeah, it’s coming, it’s coming. And when you’ll like, the more in touch with you you are, the more fulfilling this journey is because you are operating from your heart space, and you’re going where you’re where you’re guided, and so you can let go of the other stuff then, which is which is amazing. Totally, it’s so beautiful. 

Cait: I like to ask on this podcast, what it takes to rise. And rising is not we don’t rise from from the mountaintop, right? We rise from the bottom. For you in your journey, if you could talk about a moment or an experience that was a challenge to you, personally or in business and how you’ve kind of risen up from that. But I want to ask you specifically about your relationship with your ex, because I know you’ve shared about that so explicitly. You have gone on the most inspiring journey and I’m sure inspiring was not the word that you would have chosen at every single stage of that journey. But talk about your experience of rising inside of that as both an individual, but then also finding your voice in Britain, bringing yourself online. How you held space and didn’t abandon yourself during that process, what was that like? 

Rising From Challenges

Sabi: Yeah, yeah, this has been definitely such a transformative experience for me. So we moved to Bali together and we decided to explore and experience life in Bali and see what that was like. So we moved together at the same time. And when we broke up, it was super challenging and upsetting and all of the obvious things that come with a breakup, but it didn’t feel right. And it’s also the type of person that I am. I’m not just gonna like Okay, goodbye never speaking to you again. Like that’s not me. 

It didn’t make sense for us for that to be the end of our relationship. So essentially, we consciously uncoupled and I’ve spoken about this a lot on Instagram. He was also a guest in my program and he gave a joint workshop on conscious relationships, conscious uncoupling breakups and how all of this work for me as well as me practicing the embodiment of my work because this is a lot of inner work. 

Also similar to the dancing video is me talking about this journey is something that people are so interested in. People are so interested in that story. It’s a similar thing to people booking a discovery call from a dance video. People are interested in this kind of stuff over the generic post about self-love or the four tips to love yourself. 

It was a massive, transformative journey of breaking up, letting all of the pain and challenges that come with a normal breakup. But also both of us living in Bal. It was a small community. We’re both teaching at the same two yoga studios. And going through that transition was really challenging, like really, really, really challenging. 

But we did it with as much love as we could, and transitioning now to a really beautiful friendship. I’m almost like the love is deeper now than when we were in like a normal, whatever normal is, committed romantic relationship. So that has been such an incredibly transformative experience for me. I love taking a lot of like, for me doing that personally has been the embodiment of all of the work that I share as well like loving myself so much through that process. 

Cait: Totally. I love that so much. And that’s so powerful. It sounds like the thing that not only got you through it, but got you through it in such a creative, regenerative life giving loving way, but is really not abandoning yourself in the hardest, painful moments. And what brought you out is having your heart wide open to the world and not collapsed because that one beautiful relationship didn’t work out in air quotes in a conventional way. 

But it also means you have a beautiful, even deeper love and connection with this special person in your life. And I just think that’s such a powerful testament to anybody who’s Yeah, like, you know, opened and let themselves be seen and then had they’re heartbroken and there’s almost this like, turtle shell response of No, no, no, I can never do that again. This is such a powerful segue. 

Release Your Radiance

So you mentioned your program. I love to hear you talk about Release Your Radiance, because it just seems like that this work is releasing that essence, that beauty, that goddess energy, that that gorgeousness, that unique blueprint that no one else has talked to us about what this work is. 

Sabi: Yeah, absolutely. One more side note, and then I’ll talk about Radiance. 

Sign Love, love all the time. This is my big personal teaching for that, as well as all of the different jobs and careers that I’ve done that haven’t worked out in air quotes. 

Endings are not failures. We have an idea of what success is, and for me, that relationship was a beautiful success. Every job that I’ve done was a beautiful success. And I think we as a society really need to let go of failure, meaning something ends. 

I just wanted to share that because that’s, that’s been a big life philosophy of mine as well. Knowing that and moving through that process of that relationship transition is a beautiful reminder. For me, the endings are not failures, they are just shifting into something new. Whatever that thing is. 

So, Release Your Radiance is my group program, my signature eight-week group program on all things stepping into your worth, and releasing the radiant powerful goddess within. It’s my souls work, it feels like I’ve literally poured everything from my soul into eight weeks, and I’m like, I’m so passionately in love with it.

The essence of the program is we already have everything that we need within us. It is already there, our radiance is already there. Our self-love, our worth, all of these things are, are inherent there, what we’re born with. 

And this work isn’t about being someone else. It’s not about trying to be someone you’re not, it’s not about fixing yourself. It’s about coming home to what’s always been there. So that’s kind of the essence of the program. And we move through so many incredible topics. The first month is kind of like a healing month, the second month, we move into manifestation and creation. So we explore things like limiting beliefs, relationship, healing, tapping into your intuition, and then we move into tapping into your feminine energy manifestation creation, finding your purpose and passion. 

All of the things that we do are rooted on the foundation of self-love and self-worth. So you are already aware that you already have everything that you need, whatever it is that you’re desiring the relationship, the business, the body, the money, like cooling in all of these things, from a foundation of worthiness, rather than I need those things to feel good about myself. 

It’s an incredible, incredible program where I’ve been able to bring in all of the different tools, I have, which has been amazing for me and a really creative process for me as well.

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Hey, I'm Cait!

Boss mama, wife, and 7-figure CEO empowering women to build profitable, purpose-driven businesses that change the world.

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