Holy smokes you guys, I am so excited to share this story with you. This is a podcast exclusive. So that means if you are listening to this episode, you are literally the first to hear about some pretty major, major news in my personal life, I am going to be sharing with you all that is included in that, and most importantly, that really the process behind it. You know, we hear about manifestation a lot, but we don’t often hear the how and so I really want to break that process down for you guys today.
And so my love’s in this episode, I am going to be breaking down what we have manifested and really looking back really reverse engineering how all of this came to be. I am, you know, a teacher and educator and mentor by nature. And I think it’s really helpful to kind of codify some of the processes of creating something truly, truly extraordinary. So I’m going to talk about what those kinds of stages are, it’s more of stages, think back to like high school English class learning about the hero’s journey, I’m going to be breaking down really the steps to this journey as they have appeared.
And by the way, not just like build one on top of the other and like you build your perfect dream. There are steps that include mess and unknowing and fear and retraction and all of that it’s all part of manifestation. All of it is included. All of it is welcome. It’s part of the whole process. So without further ado, I am so freaking excited to share with you guys what Toby and I have been dreaming about.
A Space of Love
For literally as long as I have known Toby he has been talking to me about a space of love. I don’t know if any of you guys are familiar with the book, the Anastasia books written by a Russian author, Vladimir Megre. Toby has been obsessed with these books. He lived obviously he was living in Bali for a while before I met him. And they were really impactful and influential on and Toby, you know, grew up in the country in Australia has always had a really, you know, deep connection with land.
And these Anastasia books, there’s the woman Anastasia, the protagonist, they’re like kind of a fiction story kind of not, I don’t know, it’s weird. If you know what I’m talking about, you know, if you don’t, you can go look into it. You can just google Anastasia Vladimir may gray. And anyway, inside of these books, Anastasia talks about building a space of love. She’s like this woman who lives in the Siberian taiga and is very deeply connected with the earth and with the land inside of it. Anastasia is like teaching this, you know pretty in the world businessmen about how to live well how to live in harmony with nature, how to live in connection in this like very deep, spiritually integrated, connected way with one another with nature with God, spirit universe, whatever.
And anyway, so very early in my relationship with Toby, he’s always really talked about wanting to find a piece of land, to build a space of love a home a dwelling, but also in our relationship. And as we progress, we really become fascinated with farming and with this idea of having an organic farm now how big we want to go, what that wanted to look like, that hasn’t really been clear for us in in the full process of our time together. But we’ve known and this has been increasingly important. It was increasingly important last year when we left Los Angeles to come back to the east coast. Come back to Maine. You know, the question of place has really been the elephant in the room for Toby and me since we met one another since he is from Australia. I am from New England, we met in Bali.
And living abroad together in Bali was kind of like our way of keeping this elephant in the room at bay. We didn’t have to make a decision about your place or mine. And then even last year when we moved to LA that was kind of our shot at finding quote-unquote some middle ground It’s not the LA is directly between Sydney and New England. But it was neither of our home places, obviously my home country, but it just didn’t work out. And I’ve told this story elsewhere about you know, almost moving to Ojai and manifesting this epic house and then it falling through our fingers. And I was really, really upset about that. But the overarching thing has just been trusting that we’re being guided and being led.
Our Exciting Announcement
And so as many of you know, earlier this year, we went to Australia to go back and visit Toby hadn’t seen his people back in Australia for quite some time. And we were able to get in because he is a citizen, despite the borders being closed, we had to do the two-week hotel quarantine.
And lo and behold, while we were there, we manifested our land, we manifested our space, and I am so freaking like chills, pins and needles can’t even believe it to share with you guys that we purchased 100 acres of land in New South Wales, it’s about three hours outside of Sydney. And it is like a dream, it is an oasis. And we are just so freaking excited to build our space on this land. I am going to be sharing on social some like images and videos of it so you can see what it looks like. But it is truly like such an incredibly special place.
It’s massive, it’s got a beautiful reservoir on it. So we have a permanent water source on there. It’s just magnificent. And our vision for that land is continuing to evolve. But we are just so excited and dreaming up all of the things that this space can be obviously we’re going to build a home there. But we are also planning on having a farm. The CSA thing isn’t really happening to my knowledge anyway, if any of you Aziz are listening in no different than me, you can definitely correct me. But you know, the CSA thing that community-supported agriculture, which is quite big. I’m from New England, I used to live in western Massachusetts, where there’s like a zillion organic small farms, who all have a CSA model. Australia is a little bit behind the curve on that front, in terms of having, you know, community-supported agriculture and, you know, a food security system.
And this is not, by the way, a part of my business or my brand. I mean, it has nothing to do with my business as of yet that I talk about very much. But I wanted to share this story with you because it is such First of all, it’s like such a massive thing. In my personal life, we just bought a freaking 100 acres of land, which has been supported through my business and through the work that I do with women and expanding their businesses expanding their wealth, and to be able to then pour that abundance back into this land and then pour, you know, so much love and transformative power into the land to let that continue to yield in both farm bounty and also what we plan to do with the rest of the land. I’m like envisioning having a couple of amazing, there, we just have so many beautiful ideas that we’re cooking up accommodation, a getaway space of just true, like a sanctuary to be able to get away and experience the great outdoors to get back closer to nature to return to a kind of simplicity and a way of living that, is just like a profound soul-deep exhale, and obviously have like incredible retreats.
Like we’re going to do so much Beautiful, beautiful stuff. But I wanted to share this with you guys because it literally feels like a dream come true. This land was not even on the market. And it all happened so quickly. I mean, when you guys see some of these images on Insta, you’ll be like, Oh, wow. Because this kind of thing I think feels very elusive.
Answering Some Questions About this Update
How the heck do you manifest a piece of land like this and something that just fits in in complete alignment with your vision. And the truth is there were multiple stages of it. And it was messy. It was iterative. It was an unfurling and an unfolding. It wasn’t actually like, step one was this step two was this but only now like in hindsight, am I able to kind of again, codify and look at and observe and share with you guys like how this actually happened.
And my desire for sharing this story with you is to encourage you that if there is a desire, a dream, a vision, it’s almost so big, it scares you and you don’t even know yet how it’s going to look to you. Listen to this process to see what resonates with you, what lands with you, and what you can take home, in order to bring into your own process of creating the life of your dreams, whatever that looks like, whether it’s buying a property, whether it is buying a home, whether it is expanding your business in some capacity, whether it is allowing in a massive transformation, there is so much creative life force power in the universe that is wanting to work with you that is wanting to come to your aid that is wanting to support you. And it has the power to do that when you align your vision and get really, really clear about what you’re calling in. So I’m going to break that process down for you.
Before I do that, I’m going to just preemptively answer the questions that I know we’re going to get no, this doesn’t mean we’re moving to Australia straight away, we have at least another year and a half to two years potentially more that we’re going to be here in the states in Maine really rooting in place, we just absolutely love it. Here we have some other reasons that we need to stay here a bit longer. So we are going to be here, meanwhile, starting to prepare and get some stuff done on the land from abroad so that when we do move to Australia in a few years, we’re able to really hit the ground running. So just answering that for you guys ahead of time.
Having a Clear Vision
So the first thing that I want to share with you about creating this and having this amazing manifestation happen is to have a super clear vision that is not just infused with your mind and your mental desire, but that it is truly seeped in your feeling state, your emotional body that really comes from your soul. I think a lot of the time when we hear like have a really clear vision, we think, Oh my gosh, I have to know exactly what I want this to look like and exactly what this should look like and exactly what I’m supposed to do. And in reality, like for us, we did not have a crystal clear vision of even which country this was going to be in, but our sort of internal prayer was around, you know, where are we meant to be? Show us the next step. It was truly like this prayer, this dialogue with God, the universe, of wanting to be revealed, like where we are meant to be going. And I think that is in and of itself, sometimes a challenge for us, very driven type-A achiever oriented people to remember that we are not the only force alone that is creating our reality.
We live in co-creation, in harmony with the universe with, you know, just in my belief, we were a part of the universe, we’re part of God, God is us. And we exist in this dynamic, beautiful relationship with the universe is wanting to support our expansion. And so rather than feeling all this pressure of we have to figure it out alone. How can we allow the vision for what we desire, like be as clear as you possibly can but also have space for what you don’t yet know and be honest and be real about? What it is your heart is most singing for. Many of you guys have heard me share this with you before I met Toby.
I did a journaling exercise called what my soul is singing for and I just blurted it was like a word vomit I just blurted onto a page exactly the qualities that I was looking for in my man down to you know, very, like random like nitty-gritty things like I remember writing, I want a man who can see me in my radiant, like most exquisite best in my petty shittiest worst, like, I remember writing that on the page. And Toby is that, you know, he’s all of it, he can hold that my bigness and my over the top notes, and all of that with so much love. And he can hold me in the moments that I am human, and my worst qualities come out, and all of that. But my point in sharing this is that I was so specific in naming the thing that I wanted. Now, I didn’t say and I want him to look like this. And I want him to be Australian and I want him to, you know, have these particular qualities and all of that exact same thing. It was totally like, there was space for the universe to deliver in a way that I couldn’t yet know.
But I was as clear as possible about what I desired to feel. And that is exactly what happened with this land. You know, our prayer, my desire was very much about a space that we are going to be set up to thrive where our family and the generations to come after us are going to be set up to thrive. And we just really opened ourselves up and we’re both super available for that to be here in the States or for that to be in Australia. So the first thing is a feeling-infused, clear vision.
Not an Ascending Line But a Spiral
The second part for my control freaks in the hizzy like me. This second stage, if you will, of this manifestation process, which is so much more like a spiral than like a, you know a point chart that goes in one ascending line. I think that we’re taught so much that that is how growth looks especially in you know, a very patriarchal culture and it’s just not true. That’s just not how it is. It is so much more circular, cyclical. I’m learning a lot about cyclicality from my mentor, one of my mentors, Kate Northrup, whom I just respect so deeply. And this spiral metaphor, I think about as just like repeating all over nature, right, like in terms of shells, ferns, this unfurling and unfolding it’s so much more how this particular manifestation process has happened.
So the second stage after having a very feeling-infused clear vision, is being in the mystery. So after getting clear, and feeling into this, this desire led feeling-infused vision, being in the space of unknowing and uncertainty. The poet John Keats used to call this the capacity to be in this stage, the mystery, the uncertainty in the unknowing negative capability. In other words, the ability to dwell in not knowing and not needing to chase after certainty. Which is basically like the disease that our modern culture has, right, we need to know we need to lock it down, we need to secure we’re not good at being in the fertile void. We’re not good at being uncertain, we’re not good at that period, after like planting a seed and waiting for the fruit to appear, right?
We’re not good at the waiting. Because we live in a culture where everything’s instantaneous. We’re used to getting things immediately, we’re used to getting things amazon prime directly to our doorstep. We don’t want mystery, we want certainty, we want expediency, we want efficiency. And yet, that is not how most manifestations happen, there is a period of the weight, there is a period of mystery. And if you allow that mystery, to percolate to do what it is meant to do, there’s so much magic bubbling underneath the surface brewing in ways that you can’t see, that require us to let go to let go and to create space to receive and pay attention.
When the thing appears, a French philosopher, I think she was around in the 19th century. This is like taking me back to college when I was studying all these philosophers and spiritual scholars, but her name is Simone Weil. And I remember reading a book of her essays. And she has a beautiful line, something about like, the purest form of prayer is paying attention, which I just think is such beautiful music to think about how we lead our lives.
And anyway, the reason I’m raising that is because I think in the process of manifesting and creating what it is we want, we have to make space to actually listen and pay attention when a thing appears. And we’re not really conditioned as a culture and as a society right now to do that. We’re conditioned to want what we want and get it right now and tap our foot and cross our arms if we don’t have it. And I know for me this mystery and uncertainty, but I mean, you could just ask to be like, I’m not good at this, I am not great at this. I like to know what’s happening. I like to plan and be in control. And yes, I feel like I am in the most beautiful process of you know, you guys know my word of the year is allow and it’s just it is a wisdom that is making myself known I am allowing it to infuse how I run my company and we continue to you know, raise our top-line, bottom-line impact all of the things, you know, financially impact wise, like everything is growing as I deepen into this allowing in this making space for the uncertainty and making space for things to be easy in a way that is not hyper-controlled, and it requires a huge amount of surrender.
It requires not feeling like we have to, you know, support every single stage of things happening, but it requires trusting that they’re happening already no matter what. So, what that looked like was, you know, many, many months of searching on Zillow and you know and finding all these places and feeling like we had I had to control it and putting them you know to both of us, but Both of us feeling like, it just doesn’t feel like the right thing we’re going to know when it is the right thing. Let’s just be in the uncertainty.
When Your Manifestation Rings True
The third kind of stage that I want to describe to you guys is that when the thing appears when the moment appears when you realize and you know, that is it, and when it finds you, let me just say it will ring true. Like, I don’t know if any of you have ever been in a sound healing session, but like a gong that just gets inside of your bones. That kind of ringing true is what will happen when the thing appears, this was how it was when I met Toby, this is when I canceled my trip.
On my onward journey from Bali, I was supposed to go to Thailand, and I ended up staying, it was like this Gong, knowing in my bones like I am meant to hang out with this guy for a little bit longer. I meant to linger here for a little bit longer. And I didn’t know why. But I just knew it was the thing, the exact same thing is true. And when this land appears, we were having a meal with family and mention of this land came up. And I was just like, Toby and I almost kind of looked at each other from across the table. And in that instant, just knew this, this is the thing. This is it. This is the one and the land wasn’t even for sale. yet.
At the time, there’s a whole backstory to that I won’t go into the detail, the nitty-gritty detail of it. But basically, we just knew that was the thing. And when the thing appears, again, we have to be receptive and open enough and not think that our grand ideas of how everything that we want should look that we’re so in control and unflexible and unyielding that we’re not actually able to allow in the magical synchronistic, serendipitous, perfect opportunities when they are right under our nose. If we’re not receptive, we will miss them.
And Toby and I have actively like cultivated this space of, you know, receptivity and being open to being guided and asking the high-quality questions of the universe and aligning our vision together and practicing and supporting one another. He supported me a huge amount and being okay with being in the unknowing and just staying open, staying open, staying open, allowing us ourselves to be guided and when this moment happened, we were like this is it.
The Spiral and Unfurling
And that brings me to kind of this next stage and this unfolding this spiral-like unfurling of how this has all happened was the action, the response when the universe calls, it is our job to respond. I love how in Big Magic Elizabeth Gilbert talks about the creative process like this, she’s describing an idea coming like swooping into her and almost these, this idea having a life of its own. And she started to write a book about it. And then she kind of put it down. And then a couple of months or a year later or something. Ann Patchett had literally written the exact book that had from the creative idea that had visited her they’d never spoken about it. But she didn’t respond. She didn’t like give that creative idea, that desire that this life of itself to build, to create to unfurl to unfold, it landed on her shoulder, almost like a butterfly. And then it flew away because she didn’t receive it.
She didn’t want to, like take it in, run with it, and make that her thing. And so it went elsewhere. And I just I love this, I will never forget that I haven’t read Big Magic in probably six or seven years. But I’ll always remember that part of the book because it speaks to me so much about how we manifest and how we create and what we do with the opportunities that life the universe, spirit, whatever is always trying to give to us we are always being showered with opportunities. And we’re always deciding how we respond to those things or not. And so when this moment, this like deep Gong of resonance happened, and we both realized that it was like, oh, okay, so we need to take some action now.
So Toby went and spoke to the previous owner of the land had a conversation so if he was even open to selling, and just really nurtured this process forward, he and I obviously both tuned in about this deeply felt into whether this felt like the right thing for both of us and I, to be perfectly honest, was a bit surprised at how resonant it was because it’s in Australia, not in my home country. And yet the blank slate I have always been someone you guys like this is, I think a really big part of why I started this business in the first place and just throughout my life like even from the earliest age, I have always loved it’s not even a challenge but I thrive when there is a blank canvas in front of me and in a space that is new And that requires innovation. And I think this is a massive takeaway, even like in the entrepreneurial space where especially, you know, in the online coaching world, there’s a lot of trend following happening, like so much trend following.
And I think that one of the things that make for the most extraordinary businesses are the brands that are different the brands that have an essence about them, that is new, that is fresh, that feels like spring that is ahead of the curve, it’s not trying to fit in, it marches into its own essence, the exact same thing I feel when it comes to community and building, you know, obviously, like the things that I value, the kind of community that I want to be around, I want to be around other people who enjoy, you know, a similar lifestyle who value you know, nature, but also value being like worldly and well-traveled and education.
You know, Friends who like the same things that I do, like, yes, going out to fancy places, and having a freakin epic time, but also being unplugged and plugging back into like the greatest source of replenishment and renewal in the natural world. Like I thrive in that and I think that that’s why I Love New England so much is because we have such an abundance of both of those things, you know, the posh cities and you know, well-educated places like Western Mass and Maine that have both an abundance of access to nature and resources. I am really freaking excited about being in Australia and being able to be on the leading edge of something brand new. And to build this with my beloved and my life partner and to create this legacy for our family feels so so exciting for me.
And so there was massive action taking to be had. And I think when we think about manifestation, you know, we either think it’s just all like meditation and crystals and you know, aligning to these whatever 428 528 444 hertz, I don’t know what number it actually is, but like listening to music and chanting and being in a, you know, Crystal pyramid, and all of these things, or just like making a vision board and these kinds of like, superficial and I’m not saying any of those things are bad.
They’re all great, like do them. But there’s, there’s more that goes into it. Manifestation is a two-part process. It requires, yes, paying attention to your vibe and your alignment and all of that. And then when that opportunity comes in, it requires being willing to move, being willing to take action, being ready to heed the call that the universe is giving you, and ask yourself, am I really ready to align my life force, my creative energy, my action with the opportunity that’s being presented?
And I think it’s when we do that, that things happen extremely quickly, and filled with so much grace because it is this unstoppable combination of your will, energy, alignment and effort aligning with the divine unfolding of what the universe is providing. And when we are in sync and in harmony with both of those pieces, things can happen so quickly and beautifully. So we moved, we signed on the dotted line the day before we left Australia transferred a massive sum to the solicitors in Australia. And anyway, all said and done like we exchanged on the land and settled a couple of weeks ago. So we now currently own this incredible 100-acre property. It’s the first property that I’ve ever owned, and I am so freaking excited about it and proud of it for so many different reasons. I’m so proud of what this business that I have built has allowed us to create and to do. I am so proud to be able to have a space for Ella and our future children to be able to grow up in a way that is integral and connected with lands and I am so freaking excited for this blank canvas that this provides for us to create so many different projects, offshoots of our business it is just massively expansive.
However, I would be remiss if I did not share this part of the manifestation process with you which I guarantee massive manifestation teachers out there are not talking about which is the period of doubt after the thing has arrived after the action is taken after everything is crystallizing the period of doubt the period of Oh shit, Did I make a mistake that period of Wait wait wait is is this really the right move? Because I had this in such a massive way actually in about a month ago. I was working with a couple different mentors of mine. Truly spending a lot of time in reflection and self-inquiry. an observation about this and truly feeling like, oh my gosh, is this a mistake for a number of different reasons, which I won’t go into completely here. But I was really in this period of questioning.
And the thing about doubt, I honestly think, you know, there’s a lot of positive rah rah coaching out there that’s like, just decide and go for it. And that’s, it’s as simple as that. But in reality, I think doubt is actually very healthy. I think that doubt, is part of our soul. It’s part of our psyche, that’s almost like muscle testing, our alignment, it’s muscle testing, whether this is truly the thing and for me, I know, like I didn’t, as I said, when I said, this is the six-step process, it’s really not a process. This is how it unfolded in that very Fern spiral-like way, the doubt naturally unfolded after everything was on track and ready to go. And the universe provided an opportunity for us to get out of it if we wanted to. And that was a massive catalyst as well, for me to be in this like doubt cycle of Oh, is this not the right thing.
And I think that sometimes we interpret, you know, everything that unfolds in our lives, we have the power and the opportunity to interpret it in so many different ways, I could have looked at that and said, Look, it’s a sign that we’re not meant to go forward with it, and let’s get our money out. And let’s back out of it, and blah, blah, blah. And that was a serious inquiry of mine. And ultimately, the thing that helped me move through it, I moved through that with a period of my mentors, integral inquiry around Is this the right thing, and I gave myself permission to entertain that possibility. And this might sound a little bit counterintuitive, because I talk a lot about you know, having a plan A not having a plan B going all-in on your plan A, but with something really big, like where you’re going to live for the rest of your life or where your home base is going to be, especially when there’s deep emotion attached to it.
And for me, you know, a really deep sense of place and curiosity about the right place, I needed to doubt I needed to be able to question is this really the right thing. And ultimately, through the process of having support, I’m in multiple containers where I have trusted mentorships close friends, obviously talking this through with Toby, my husband, I really gave myself permission to feel the doubt, not be freaked out about it not take instant action because the feeling of doubt arose. But to just notice it welcome it not slam a door shut in its face, but just say, Oh, hey, okay, you’re here? What do you have to tell me? What do you want to show me? What do you want to teach me? What do you need? And I think that when our doubt arises, and we can be almost like befriend it, and ask it what it needs from us. Most of the time, it’s gonna dissipate and go away. And for me, my doubt, just needed me to acknowledge that it was there, acknowledge that this is a really big move. And to ask it and ask myself, is this what you really want, it was almost like after we’d exchange after the money was exchanged after the contract was signed, it was done, I felt locked into it. And the doubt was asking me to remember that this was my free choice and a desire-led choice that was moving me in the direction of what I really wanted.
And as soon as I gave myself permission to feel that, to acknowledge the doubt, to befriend it, to give it a voice, to ask it, what it needed to tell me, it went away. And I think this is a really important part of the manifestation process, especially when you know, we’re manifesting something really big, like a relationship. I think this is so true in the big relationships in our lives, the big juicy things that we manifest, you know, even the most amazing things come with a period, as some of some not great things, some things that are hard or challenging, I think about the yin and yang symbol, how in each half of that, you know, that ancient Chinese symbol in each half of the light and the dark, there’s a speck of the other and I think there’s so much wisdom in this symbol.
Because when we make a decision there, it’s normal for there to be an element of doubt or an element of the opposite thing. And as long as we’re not making that bad or wrong, as long as we’re not shutting that part of ourselves down. We make space for what is and can move forward with so much more wholeheartedness and full buy-in than if we were to slam a door shut and pretend we didn’t feel things like I think that’s when we start to really when we repress anything under the surface. When we exclude anything from the human experience. That’s when we get into trouble. So I needed to go through a process again in this spiral evolution. process of creation manifestation I needed to experience the doubt. And when I acknowledged it, it passed through.
Opening and Aligning to the Mystery
the last stage is opening again to the mystery getting embodied aligned and opening once again to the mystery and this is really the spiral the circle begins again. And I know there’s going to be you know, we just like we manifested this land, we called it in it appeared, we took action, we said yes, we stepped into it, I felt the doubt I felt the expansion again, this exact same cycle is going to happen with everything that we build on it the properties or the little, you know, air streams or Tiny Homes, the retreat space, the farm, if we end up building some sort of a micro-school like all of these pieces of the vision that we have, they’re going to be more manifestations on this land.
And this process is going to continue. So I didn’t want to just share with you this epic news, we bought 100 acres in Australia and are going to build out the most magical Wonderland. I wanted to share with you the true behind-the-scenes inner world pulling back the curtain glimpse as to how this came to be. And I wasn’t following you know, the six-step rulebook.
This is all just how it unfolded. But again, I think it’s so helpful when we can go back and almost trace the contours of how we’ve created something because it gives us wisdom and insight into how we move forward. So I hope that listening to this has really inspired you to dream so big and hold such a big, clear vision, a feeling state soul-driven vision for what you want, and to believe it is possible for you. Because it truly, truly is.