Cait
As you guys know, I’m like talking a ton about the power of the leap. And I think it’s really easy to like hear stories like that and be like, Yeah, but that like that applies to her and her alone, but not to me or like, That’s inspiring. But does it actually like does it actually work? Does it actually move the needle at the dump? I’m here today to have a beautiful conversation with fellow badass powerhouse CEO, seven figure business owner, Amanda freakin Kolbye. How are you?

Amanda Kolbye
I’m so good as you were, uh, let me turn the volume here. As you were giving an introduction, I felt this like energy of like being an athlete, like ready to like walk onto the court.

Cait
So funny that you said that because I interviewed Jazze this morning for a podcast. And as you know, she like runs ultra marathons, and also was a basketball player. So I’m like, totally in the like, bring them out mode this morning. So I’m like, Oh, man. I’m having my flashbacks. I’m like, Oh, shit. All right. I’m ready. I’m ready. So good. Oh, my God. Yes. So I was just saying, like, I’ve been talking, obviously, so much recently about taking the leap and how important that is. And I think it’s so easy for people to be like, Yeah, but like, That’s inspiring. But does that like really work? Does that really happen? And you I remember messaging you about this when I had this like, Aha freaking moment. And we will tell that story. But anyway, I’m so pumped to talk about this today with you, Amanda, because you are somebody who just embodies the boldness of what it means to freakin trust yourself and go for it. And who has created something so extraordinary and so exquisite. With not only that, it’s not just a mindset, it’s a way of moving in the world. And it’s a way of embodying and I just feel like witnessing You and your rise and witnessing, like all of the people that you impact in the way that you coach and the people who are stepping in that ripple effect of that way of being it’s so freakin powerful. It’s, it’s, it’s extraordinary. So anyway, I was kind of in the middle of my athlete, bring them out intro of you. For those of us who are listening or watching and don’t know, you don’t know who you are. Don’t know about your business. Tell us a little bit more about you and the amazing work that you do. Yeah, first, thanks.

Amanda Kolbye
Thanks for having me. Hello, guys. Um, yeah, so I have known and worked with Cait in some capacity, like literally since day one. So casing it all. Um, but yeah, my name obviously is Amanda Kolbye, and I’m a business coach as well. And so I started actually as a web designer, and then ended up getting into coaching and over the past two ish, two and a half years, I’m like, I don’t, time doesn’t exist, but we’ve scaled to a million dollars. And we’ve served served hundreds and hundreds of clients. And if I had to, like sum up kind of my business and what I do, I mean, you know, from a literal perspective, I help entrepreneurs at every stage, start the business scale the business to all different levels, but I am really about community and helping you tap into your power and viewing business as a tool to create freedom in your life, which for so many people is being able to, you know, stay at home with your little ones and still make a you know, a bazillion dollars on the side for for me for a long time that was being able to travel and do those things. And while I don’t market myself as a mindset coach that has just more and more become so engrained into the business coaching that I do to really help you find your freedom in the way that you want to operate your business. Despite so many opinions and voices online that we just have to like filter through and like really find our truth as a business owner and I think that parallels a ton with being able to take big leaps, because you can’t take big leaps when you don’t know your own truth and you’re not really going to be happy in those big leaps and through those stressful times right when you don’t really understand you and what you want. Yes.

Cait
Oh my god, it’s so true. It’s so true. And I’m literally like having a flashback. I remember when we started coaching like let’s just peel back the fucking curtain. I was living at my I just moved back from Bali. I think I was launching nail your niche like in the last month that I was living in Bali, it was 2019. And like stopped over in Paris. Like I remember being in Paris during the nail your niche launch and being like, This is amazing. landed back in the States at my parents house. And I remember I will never forget, because I remember when we started private coaching in 2019, I was like sitting in their house. And like in the upstairs bedroom, which was where I took calls from at that time. And, and I remember our first call, and you were like, Brant, like web design, ain’t it? Like there’s something else and what I just love, and you’re so like, fucking humble and incredible about the way you say this, like, oh, yeah, we scaled to a million dollars in two years, no deal. But like, literally, we had that conversation. Me and my parents guest bedroom. And you I don’t even know where you were at the time somewhere abroad. Yeah, Vietnam, I think, exactly. And it was like, I, like my vision is so much bigger, but I don’t like I don’t even know where to start. And it was like, okay, but we’re doing this and that thing you’re describing about, like, it’s hard to leave when you’re not, like when you’re not committed to what you want, when you’re not decided on where you want to go. Even if it’s not clear, like I’m sure at that point, you weren’t like, this is exactly what my three year vision is, for what I want to look like, it was like, I know I am meant for more. I know I am meant for something bigger. I know I desire not only more freedom, because you had lifestyle freedom at that time. And you could have settled for like, this is good enough, I’m making 5k a month or whatever it was, and, and like I can be happy here. But your vision was so much bigger than that. And I just think it’s so powerful you and you also talked in that little intro about, you know, the community aspect. And one of the things that I just think is so extraordinary about you, Amanda, and about the business that you’ve built in the community that you’ve built, you have truly built a community you don’t only have like a seven plus figure business, you’ve nearly scaled like a seven figure offer and have had hundreds and hundreds of students move through your program and and worked with you have different layers in different capacities, but in a single program have built like truly a global network and community and movement. And like I’m just thinking back to like baby K and baby Amanda, you know, three years ago, having that conversation and being like, right, the vision is here, there’s so much between the actualization of like the reality in this moment, and where you started. But like, the vision was so clear, and it made no sense to be like, I know this is happening. So let’s go. But yet, that was a muscle that you activated. And I just think that that piece is so important, like taking the risk or taking the leap. It’s not about like, I know exactly how this is going to go or I have the clear vision, even of exactly what I want, like this to look like it’s like I have the vision that this is meant to be bigger, which I know is your word of this year, it’s meant to be more it’s meant to be something greater than the level that I’m playing at right now. And I’m willing to do what it takes to get in the room and to get myself supported and to take the bold action and to mess up and fail a zillion times in order to get there. And I just think you have embodied that in such a beautiful way.

What happens when you take big leaps

Amanda Kolbye
Yeah, I love that. And like, as soon as you started kind of saying on that I feel like very called to share this fact with like taking big leaps of I Heart of my story that I like didn’t go through that whole spiel there is like I quit a six figure corporate job with no clients no business idea. And not necessarily recommending this. But no anything. I sold everything moved to Thailand. And I was like I need time. Time is the commodity I don’t have. And I’m going to make it work. But what I want to highlight about that is that was the first I guess big leap amongst a bazillion big leaps that we’ve had to take. And the only thing that I knew was two things. One, I didn’t want to live in America too. I wanted to work for myself. Y’all not joking. Like that was it? That was it that I decided to uproot my entire life sell everything I own quit a job and move overseas knowing that like I was going to figure it out. I knew I trusted myself enough to say I’m resourceful I’m smart, I’m intelligent things are out there. I’m willing to work for it and we’re gonna figure it out. And it was messy it was not by any means perfect to get from there to where I am now. But I think if you were to look at from a big perspective, like every leap along the way like you said, you know made for more it’s it’s certain things like this that you know are your truth and that unfortunately you you don’t know almost ever what it looks like you just have to go off that inkling of like okay, I know this. I know, I was made for more or I know I want to work for myself. That has to be enough to propel you forward to take the action like you’re never going to Have anything clearer than that?

Cait
I believe it’s so beautiful. It’s so true. And I love that you like, took us back even more, you know, before in your timeline of like this, this way of being, you know, I think it’s really easy. And I know that there’s so many people in your community and audience who just like, look at you with starry eyes and like, Wow, a man is just amazing. And he’s done all this. And it’s like, it’s the both and right, it’s like, yes, 1,000,000%. And there has been a habitual, ingrained, almost like in your body way of moving of like, number one. And it’s not just and I want to talk about this with you, and like, hear your perspective on this as well. Because I think this is interesting, when we talk about taking the leap, it’s not about like, throw yourself out of a plane, and hopefully your parachute shoots, like works, but you didn’t check it or like, it’s not about taking risk in this like Daredevil sort of a way and like flirting with death. It’s about like, being so clear on desire, actually, and being willing to move from desire and move towards rather than run away from and it’s something that requires not only a lot of bravery and willingness to act, but also a lot of honesty and a lot of like self reflection. And I think that what you’re speaking to is how much of that process like both the introspection whether it was like in your, you know, in your six figure job in your, like, early 20s. and being like, this is not for me, whether it was like, okay, cool, I’ve left I have the freedom, I’m doing the done for you thing, but like, that’s not what I actually desire anymore. And so it’s time to leap again. And I’m curious what you would say for somebody who’s like, you know, like, it feels almost like it’s too dangerous to even get in touch with that desire for for more or feels like it’s not trustworthy, because it’s not clear yet, because I think it’s safe to say, Amanda, that you are a planner, and you like we’re both Enneagram threes, I probably don’t have the same like planning gene, but, but to the degree that you do, but like you are somebody who embodies this in such a beautiful way, because you’re both like a hell of a planner. But also, you don’t need the fucking 14 Step roadmap in order to move and I think that’s been such a huge part of your success.

How to take big leaps even if you’re not feeling ready and reimagining what safety means

Amanda Kolbye
Mm hmm. Yeah. It’s funny, I feel like there’s so much to unpack there. But I always laugh because I don’t fully understand myself. I think I’m this bizarre dichotomy because I am this. And, you know, planner, I love spreadsheets. And then I’m like, Ah, you know, fuck it, let’s like, just quit and move to Thailand, you know, like, but I think what I want to highlight with that, is I think I’m intentional. Yes, quite from a literal perspective, I do love to plan. But I’ve, I, I would say my my parallel strength with that is adaptability. I’m not married to the plan, I feel very confident in myself that I can throw myself into situations not in an irresponsible way. But in almost any situation, I have, over many years gained the confidence to know that I’ll be okay. And when you said the word danger earlier, it’s funny because I immediately had a thought, you know, before you’d said that about the word safety. And I think safety is a topic that you have to talk about, when as an entrepreneur, you talk about taking risks, because we can talk about mindset, stuff all day long. And you know, we can talk about logistics all day long. But if in your core in your body, if you don’t feel safe, that’s when you won’t make the movements that you need to make. And I don’t mean safe in the terms of a guarantee, because your shocker, you’re not going to get a guarantee. But safety and my sense was always security and myself for you. It may look very differently. But I felt safe enough despite being in 50 million different countries, despite not having an income despite all of these swirling things outside of me to rely on the internal safety of I’m okay, I’m going to figure it out. And and that has to be so rock solid for you to then battle or just whether through the like external uncertainty that comes. Does that make sense? Yes,

Cait
it makes so much sense that I love that you’re bringing this point up in this bit about safety and like how we define safety, because you’re right, like we can’t have a conversation about risk without talking about safety, because that’s like so often seen as the opposite, right? It’s like what is the like, safe thing to do? What is the high risk thing to do low risk, high risk, and I think what you’re describing is like, re imagining for ourselves what safety is, I think for a lot of us, we’re taught to make decisions from a place of do I have the guarantee that you know, XYZ result is going to happen and if I have that guarantee, if I’ve got whether it’s like the money back guarantee, or they’re written on Paper or the projection that is, you know, it’s gonna come back by this date or whatever the thing is. That is what allows me to feel safe. And what I’m hearing you describe is like, in your decision making process, it was like an internal recalibration of, I am safe no matter what, like I have gotten me. And I think that there’s a certain you know, whether that is making an investment inside of a program, whether that’s moving to a new country, whether that is, you know, launching a new arm of your business, or whatever pivoting your existing business, like, whatever the thing is, any kind of decision that you make, every decision that we make, actually is laced with uncertainty, because that is like how the universe grows and expands and moves is it has to have this element of uncertainty, like we know that from quantum physics, but like, coming back to the business space, if we’re sourcing our sense of safety as knowing what’s going to happen, we’re really limiting our ability to grow. So I love the way you described, like cultivating and reframing safety as something you can self source something that you can truly depend on yourself from and and move in that place. And I’m curious what you would say to somebody who’s like, how do I start to feel safe inside of myself, even with risk? Like my I feel like frazzled with that or I feel like, yeah, and maybe it’s so second nature to you that that’s a hard question to answer. But I’m curious what you would say about that. Because it is something like I view that in us is such a core skill set, that again, it like, not only your success, and what you’ve built, but how quickly you’re able to move and your process of self reflection and refinement, like you move fast, and you’re obviously a manifesting generator. So you got that going forward. In the moving fast bit, but like, with the Yeah, I’m just curious for you how, how you would support someone or guide someone or what you would say to somebody who is desiring to trust themselves in a deeper level, or desiring to source safety from within rather than seeing it as like an external promissory note, but is struggling to do that.

How to trust yourself on a deeper level

Amanda Kolbye
Yeah, this is such a good question. And I feel like it’s a big question to answer because I, if I’m being truthful, I don’t think there’s there’s one answer to this. But if I were to approach this or just for all of all of y’all listening, I think first you have to identify where you currently derive your safety and kind of security from it. And what almost is like pulling the strings right now. Because if you’re kind of still, you’ll start to notice these up and down patterns. Or you might just, it might be very apparent, you might feel like you’re on an up and down roller coaster as many entrepreneurs do. And so you first need to kind of identify like, what am I handing over my power to, like, Who have I given permission to pull the strings whether that’s dictating my emotions, dictating my actions, dictating my my source of of safety in this conversation for many people, and this has not always been an innate for me. Money was one thing that it was, it pulled the strings, right, like up and down, up and down. I didn’t feel safe without the money coming in. Right? And as entrepreneurs, well no, you’re not you don’t have the salary anymore. So that’s a huge one that I think for a lot of people now we now know what to address further because it’s not just this conversation of safety it’s now Okay, if that’s what’s pulling your strings if that’s where you currently derive that sense of security from let’s look at that now. Let’s look at your relationship to money. Let’s look at why you don’t trust yourself like why have we lost faith in ourselves to be able to move forward? Is that past circumstances that have taught us otherwise? Are there limiting beliefs core beliefs there because you will always act in accordance with what your core beliefs are and if we’ve never done the work to cognitively become aware of what those are we’re always going to essentially be acting out of our own cognitive control because you’re unaware of how the subconscious is moving forward.

Cait
So true and so powerful and thank you for that like almost like NLP definition that and I want to like unpack this even further and just say and you know, I obviously as you said have had like the privilege of knowing you super in depth for three plus years. And know this to be true about you Amanda like you are and specifically as we’re talking about money like you are a both feet in Fuck yes pay in full please kind of woman like that is who you are. That is how you move that is how you invest I’m sure with anything else you do certainly with me for the last like three years like that is how you move and when the I think you know it was near nice to start and then a VIP upgrade from there. And when you made that invent that first investment you did not have like you weren’t making much per month. then your business. So that was like what that was a three times I think what you were making in a single month in your business. And you and it was at the very beginning, when it was the least clear how you were going to make it back or how it would even work, you didn’t even have anything to sell in the offer that you in the business model that you signed up in full highest level offering to be coached on and that I just, I want to highlight that in you because that is like, that is so extraordinary. And it’s not to say like, unless you pay in full, you’re not like committed or something like that. Not at all. But it is it’s a really powerful testament to the way that you move and the way that you make decisions and the way that you make things happen. And I would love for you to describe like you can take this back there, you can think about any investment along the way, like what goes through your mind when you make an investment and your relationship with money. That is that is that allows you to feel enough safety in your body to move forward. Because again, this is not just something you did one and done like this is a way of investing in your business. And I think it’s really valuable for people to see behind the curtain of like, how does the seven figure CEO invest in her growth, how to sell and not only just a seven figure SEO, but like somebody who grew that in a very short amount of time. And you know, we don’t need to compare timelines, everyone’s journey can be different. But like, you have been able to accelerate in such a fast amount of time, not only by the investments that you’ve made financially, but the way that energetically and execution wise, you have shown up inside of those investments and always made them work for you in one way or another. But I’m curious what you would say because it’s easy, again, to look on the outside and be like, Wow, what a badass. And I want to highlight and I have the privilege of knowing this that like you freaking put your money where your mouth is you commit, you do the thing, and you make that work for you, even when it feels the scariest and the hardest. So talk to us about that moment after like, submit payment, and then how you like lead yourself into an investment that really works for you and like work through any sort of like money stuff that comes up for you.

How Amanda led herself into an investment that worked for her

Amanda Kolbye
Yeah, oh my gosh, so so good. Um, so, I mean, at the surface, anyone who knows me knows I’m a very analytical person. If you’re familiar with like, buyer behavior, I’m absolutely the person that like sits and analyzes wants to know all the details, etc. Which, if you think about it, just from that description alone, like doesn’t quite match up with like, what you just had described their case. But what I would say is, I’m an all in kind of person, I’ve always been that way, there’s pros and cons to that in life. But I’ve always been that way. So like, if I sign up for something, if I say yes, for something, there is just no half assing allowed. I know that almost sounds a little harsh, but just it is it is a way of being it is just like, if I’m in this like come hell or high water, like we’re about to be the best, like whatever that means, like I am in it. And so I think when you’re looking at investments in relationship with money, I have the fear, trust me all it to this day, the fear is there, but a guiding light for me that I do. There’s so much power in the intuitiveness and being able to really listen to how you’re feeling, which is something I’m even learning so much more in business. But what has gotten me forward with all these decisions with the pace with the magnitude of it, is my emotions don’t dictate my decisions. I’m aware of them, I listen to them, I consider them I feel them, but they do not dictate my decisions. Because if they did, I wouldn’t I would have never gotten anywhere if the fear dictated my investment, when when the guarantee was not on the table, I wouldn’t have made it and so I think my two core beliefs that I feel like come into this when you are looking at whether it’s money investment time investments, like anything, is I have truly to my core like not an affirmation known that my success is inevitable. I had no and even to this day, I don’t know what that means fully. I don’t know what that picture is painted like, but I know in every fiber of my being my success is inevitable. And I knew there was no other option and I think that’s the attitude that you’re almost describing rather than kind of the cliche all in for me, there was no other option. There was no other option for me not to build this business. And when you truly like have that mindset it’s like well, that’s scary. I don’t know where that money is gonna come from but like that’s it like that’s forward so I guess let’s do it you know, it’s kind of that mentality.

Cait
Yes, and I love I’m like, back to our like pregame pump up playlists like Eminem success is my own fucking option like yes, I’m totally feeling you in that. But it’s so true and I love you bringing in like the analytical brain side of you You in the in this conversation and like I just love the duality of you have like the all in yep, I know it got movement and also the like analytical brain read the sales page in detail that kind of thing. And the way that those actually aren’t in conflict but can really like mutually benefit and support. And you know one thing that you were just saying about like that being all in and there not being another option. The analytical brain actually really serves us to see that clearly. And what you’re describing is like in that decision breakdown moment in that moment, so yes, fear is present sure to like Activate, Activate your nervous system and activate a decision that is expansive and stretchy and requires you to leap and requires you to be in that liminal space where after you’ve like, foot off the ground already, past press play, whatever the thing is press send, like, and the business being built, and the success having arrived. And that could be months before that happens, you know, and often, especially if it’s like, you’re just at the building stages, that is the case. And yet, what the fear that we feel when we’re like, on the breaking on the breaking point or on the brink, and about to make that decision, what I think we can sometimes forget is like that the choice is either like feel fear here over here, or feel safe over here. But what you’re describing is like, I knew that this was no longer this no longer fit. And so maybe it wasn’t fear in that like this is like this is like scary and activating and expansive because it wasn’t activating, it was actually the opposite. It was deadening. It was numbing, it was old, it was you had outgrown it. It’s like a hermit crab trying to like fit back into like baby shell, like, that was not an option for you anymore. So really, it’s like growth or growth, you know, like, what is the voice here. And I think that that’s such a great reframe, and reminder of there was only one option.

Should you follow the fear?

Amanda Kolbye
Actually, yeah, and bringing up fear, I am spacing on who first kind of brought this thought into my sphere. But I was doing an interview with someone and they talked about following the fear. And I think that that is a really powerful thing you can dip into as an entrepreneur, because we’ve been taught our whole lives and anonymously just by like very innate primitive human nature, that fear can put you on high alert, right? But we’re not you know, animals in the wild like being chased by a tiger. And so as an entrepreneur, we are our bodies respond that way to fear like we are a gazelle being chased like a tiger because it’s innately how humans are supposed to operate. But in actuality, you are not in a life or death situation. What fear as an entrepreneur means is something is big. Something is is big enough to create what feels like it could be your demise. But in actuality, it almost never is. It’s big enough to create something epic, you just don’t know what it is yet. And with the conditioning, we’ve been taught that you go to school, and you get a job, and we know what’s next. So the fear is not actually I find about like, you know, are going to fail and be homeless, and you know, not a foodie like all of these things, like the fear is because you’ve been conditioned to always know what’s next, and now you don’t. And so I think if you can learn instead of resisting the fear, learning how to follow the fear, because the fear points you in the direction of something you care enough about to like, have these strong, intense emotions about and see where it takes you. Does that make sense?

Cait
Yes, it makes so much sense. I love that follow the fear. It’s such a juicy nugget and like pay attention to what that is showing you. And I think that yeah, the like signs that we’re like, off track with that growth edge where desire and fear really like intermingle is if you feel numb, or if you feel dead, or if you feel heavy, feel really uninspired or if you feel trapped, or if you feel density, like that’s the opposite of exactly what you’re talking about. Exactly. Yeah. So powerful. I love that so much. Amanda, I am so curious, like what you would say to somebody who because I know you have so many incredible women in your audience so many incredible people who are just wanting to create a lifestyle of more freedom be able to like reach their higher potential know they’re made for more and actually have the tangible steps to be able to do that. Like what would you say to somebody who is whatever their leap is right now whatever that next big thing is whether that is investing inside in a mentor or a program whether that is hiring a team member whether that is freaking going live on Instagram for the first time whether that’s been willing to launch the program that they’ve built in are freaking out that no one’s gonna sign up like you’ve been through all of those things. And here you stand today, like so fucking successful. Like, what do you say to somebody like that like oh, What how do you, I don’t want to say talk them off the ledge, but like, talk them off of the fence actually to like, talk them off of almost that freeze of I don’t know what’s going to happen, so I can’t move.

Why indecision is the most dangerous place to stay

Amanda Kolbye
Yeah. I think what I would say and what I think is one of the most important skills as a CEO as an entrepreneur is decisiveness. So, whatever is in front of you, whatever emotions are present, whatever it is, decide, decide one way or another. But the most dangerous place you can stay is an indecision, because you will, you will not get anywhere. And I truly attribute so much of my success, whether it’s investing or this or that was like I decided I decided yesterday, it doesn’t always work out the way I wanted it to. But then I decide again, and from a personal perspective, that is how my life has been from a business perspective. And if you can learn to be a quack, quack, not You’re not irresponsible, but quick decision maker decide yes or no, but never allow yourself to stay in indecision. Honestly, for more than 2024 to 48 hours, I think I mean, bigger life decisions, you might need a little more time, but you don’t actually need that long to decide. And you can use different tools, whether it’s learning to get more trust in your intuitiveness in your gut, because a lot of times you know the answer, you’re just letting a lot of the wishy washy kind of bullshit get in the way of what you already know you need to do. Does that make sense?

Cait
Oh, so good. Yes, it’s so true and so powerful about the most dangerous place to be is indecision, decide one way or another, but make a clear, clean, swipe clear, clean line in the sand so that you can energetically move forward with it. Because otherwise you’re just in one place or another. It’s so good. You said something else. And this is like the last thing that I want to ask you about because I think this is so important, have you decide and we do not always like none of us have a crystal ball, none of us, none of us are God. I mean, we’re all God, and we’re all not God, the omnipresent can see everything and make every perfect decision. Some decisions that we make, are not like don’t I’m not even gonna say it’s the wrong decision. But it doesn’t result in a way that we desired. And yet, it always propels us forward on the journey. And this is so like, I think this is just like a casual, massive wisdom drop that you have just shared about, you know, how that because then you said, then I decide again, I think that one of the big fears I like didn’t even think about this until you just said this, I think one of the big fears that a lot of people have is like, I’m going to make the wrong choice, I’m going to program and I’m not going to get my return, or I’m going to move to the country and I’m not going to be happy. Or I’m going to, you know, like go on this date. And it’s not gonna be my future husband, or like, whatever the thing is, and you have just really like pop this bubble of like finality. And this is the one decision that everything hinges on. Like, of course, we met and obviously there are micro decisions, like should I get the pizza or the pasta, like not going to life? Should I like marry this person or move to this country? Or like, you know, invest in this $50,000 thing, like bigger decision, right. But like, I think it’s so important to remember whether it’s like something teensy tiny, or even with the bigger things like, we still get to course correct. And we still get to make a new decision, even if that big decision doesn’t yield the way that we want. And talk to us about that mindset. Because that, that is massive, because I think that’s probably one of the biggest things that keeps people in that indecisive place that you spoke about being so dangerous.

Why you still get to course-correct and make a new decision if things don’t go the way we want

Amanda Kolbye
Yeah, I’m just obsessed with this whole conversation. Um, so I think as soon as you were talking, I was like, okay, yes, this is like, this is how I need to explain this is we, we naturally when we think about being decisive and making a decision, we attach that to a result, right? So we say and when you’re talking about right or wrong, that’s exactly what plays in there, whether you realize it or not. So we say okay, well, if I decide this, even if I know it’s not guaranteed, I’m thinking that I’m making this decision to create this result. And I want to invite you to change your way of looking at decision making to decide to create opportunity, not decide for a result. Because when you do that, there’s no right or wrong, you take away the pressure. All you’re ever doing is moving forward. You there’s there’s no negative of opportunity. It’s only positive possibilities, right. I mean, it may not always feel like a positive possibility when you go through a learning moment, but you still created opportunity and I feel like when I when I look back I had this phrase that very special cific to my journey when I left the states, and when so many people asked me about it. And for me, I moved around growing up. So I didn’t have this attachment to like home. But what I had always told myself was like, Well, I can, I can always go back, I just, I want to just go see what’s out there. I just want to go meet people in Bali and like, see what comes up from that, right? I just want to go do a live and see who shows up. And, and when you operate your business, from that perspective of stop trying to control the outcome, you’re what you’re actually doing is becoming way more aligned in decision making with what is in your control versus what is not in your control. If you are creating opportunity, you’re focusing on something that is in your control, to create opportunity to be repetitive there.

Cait
Yes. Oh my god, that’s so good. I love that decision making to create opportunity, not decision that like guarantee a result, it actually reminds me and I want to share this story. I think I shared this, I don’t know if it was on a podcast or live, it was just like in a random place. But, you know, I think it’s also helpful to hear about, like people who made a decision that like didn’t go the way that they wanted, but it was still an opportunity. And we experienced that like six months ago, or so. Or maybe it was a little bit before but we we found a house that we loved, we put in an offer, put down our earnest money $15,000 Check. And we were like up to the very last minute of being able to like get out of it, we stayed in it. And it was like very shortly thereafter that a few different things were revealed to us number one that it was going to require like probably $400,000 of deferred maintenance alone caught like to fix the house through like, you know, you know, processes that we went through to determine that not even anything aesthetic or functional, it was just about like getting it like, up to code and able to live in. And then at the same time, I also found out that I was pregnant. And this is like a $1.4 million house and I was like all the sudden the like edginess and expansiveness, it just in my body, I was like, whew, this is not the right decision anymore. And I’m going to need to like unwind this and what had happened, because we made that decision. So aligned with it. So excited about it, then we got new information. And we were past the point of being able to get our earnest money back. So like, we just lost $15,000 Like, it didn’t even apply to the next thing. It was just like goodbye. And I am so grateful for that experience. Even though on paper, it could look like that was a bad decision, or that was a failure, or that didn’t result in like our dream house. That $15 million was such I paid that money and the way that I choose to see that investment now, I paid that money for such a valuable lesson. And I also paid that money. And now not in a house that’s going to be like just a black hole sinking cash like so while it was a failure. In some ways. It was you know, the result of Dream House dream life in this home didn’t didn’t happen from that decision, the opportunity to really get like clear once like, you know, both like fiscal information emerged and life path information emerged and new information happened, like allowed me to get really clear with my husband allowed me to get really clear about what I and what we actually wanted, and to really be so neutral and expansive in our relationship with money. And sure enough, like we’ve had, you know, the last six months of our business have been humongous. And we found a house that was 10 times better for us. And like for so many different reasons, like the zoning is better, we can do so much more with it, we can have active investment on the property, we can do it like the grounds are Mormon, everything about it is so much better. And I just wanted to share that like exact like example of what you’re describing, sometimes a lot like a decision that really, you know, it doesn’t feel good to lose $15,000 No matter how much money you have, like, that sucks, but it doesn’t have to be this like broken failure, I screwed up. I can never trust myself again, I can never buy a house again, I’m at because I could have really gone into that story, right of like, I suck at real estate. I screwed that up like I just burned cat enough. Like, I could have gone into that story. But I chose to have a different outlook on that. And I think that’s like exactly what you’re describing here and an example that you know, it’s money related, but it’s not entrepreneurship related, but it’s a way of moving with decisions and with money and with just choosing to again, trust yourself and find the narrative that is the most empowering.

Amanda Kolbye
Yeah, I know I love that example. Because it’s not just directly like Oh, investing in a program or coaching or something. And I feel like what you’re also describing is like allowing which I’ll be very transparent something I’m still working on but like allowing the the universe to surprise you. Because I’m someone who loves to know what’s happening. I want to have all the numbers.

Cait
I also imagined if like Zach tries to plan you were surprised at that you also are like, Okay, so I’ve been like just feeling into some of the things you saying, and I’m guessing we’re going here. I do that to tell me all the time, like, course to surprise.

Amanda Kolbye
Yep, I’m the same way. And I’m like, I’m working on it. I love it. Yeah, he literally tried to surprise me the other day. He’s like,

I bought you a private office at a co working space because you’ve been complaining that you wanted like a better environment. And I was like, oh, for tomorrow, I have a lot to do. And he’s like, You’re the worst. You’re the worst. You can’t be surprised.

Why failures are really signs of redirection

Cait
That is so funny. Oh my god, I love that. It’s so good. But yes to letting the universe surprise you. And like trusting that when something doesn’t work out, I think about you know how this it relates to so many things outside of just like investing in a program or investing in a coach or something like that. Like I think about love stories that I read of like somebody being heartbroken and feeling like, oh, my god, that was Mr. Right, and you got away. And then you know, six months later meeting, the person that they end up marrying, or getting married to, or getting engaged with straight away and having a child and it’s like, that’s the thing and it was like, everything seemed devastating. And no, this is the universe punishing me or everything’s wrong. And it’s like, no, honey, it’s actually just paving the way for the thing. That’s so freakin right. And it’s, it’s all allowed. It’s all part of the journey and welcoming the the opportunities that come with decisions that again, don’t pan out the way that we want. They’re not failures, they are redirect signs, they are pointing us in the right direction. And it’s like all, as you said before, so beautifully. It’s all forward motion.

Amanda Kolbye
Yeah. And I feel like almost like a very encompassing part of all these parts of this conversation that we’ve had is persistence. Like, we live in such this like instant gratification world, we hear all these like, seemingly overnight success stories. And, and I feel like in our space, we’re just like, oh, my gosh, I’m not successful in a year. And it’s like most businesses aren’t successful anywhere. But the the practice of persistence, the choice of being persistent, when you make decision after decision after decision, when you make these big leaps, when things don’t turn out, like that’s almost like the consistent thread throughout all of these, like ups and downs and decision making and power moves and not power moves, you know, whatever. And, like, if you’re doing this, remember that you’re in it for the long haul. And I think we like, say that we’re like, yeah, of course, like in 10 years, I want this for forever, but it’s like, yes, but are you operating from a place that you truly believe? And are again, like making decisions as if this is the long haul? Are you willing to persist? When there is not just a day that sucks when there is a year that sucks? Because I’ve experienced that last year was really freaking hard for me. We didn’t create anything new. We didn’t. I maintained because I needed to pull back on, on personal levels. But I persisted, there was never an option for it to not make it our income may have dipped, done this or that. But it was like, Well, I mean, this is my forever future. There are going to be years, months days that just, you know, don’t aren’t ideal.

Cait
Yes, it’s so important to have that longevity perspective and to be like, Okay, I am in this and decided for the long haul. I’m not just like a fair weather friend to my business. I’m not and I think that that mindset and knowing actually is so helpful and can actually really relax our nervous system because we don’t need to hit a home run with every, you know, obviously, we want every launch that we do every investment we make every action that we take to yield big and it’s like holding the duality of Yeah, fuck yeah, I’m here for that. And I’m also here for the times that the launch flops. I’m also here for the time that the investment doesn’t work out. I’m also here for all of that, and I welcome all of it with the same emotional neutrality, because I’m devoted to this path as the long haul. And that is such a beautiful reminder and piece of advice. Amanda, this was such a great conversation. I feel like parking all day. But thank you so much. Where can our where, like, Where can we follow along with you get more of you hear more about what’s coming up? Like tell us? Yeah,

Amanda Kolbye
um, I feel like the easiest thing just come pop over on Instagram. It’s at Amanda Colby Kol of UAE. And from there I have a YouTube channel, a podcast, you know, lots of programs, free events, all of the fun things I would love for you to connect in my world should be them. Don’t be a stranger. If you have thoughts on the conversation. I always tell people like with podcasts, especially I feel like they’re meant to be conversation starters. So like, shoot me a voice note, that’s always like my favorite conversation.

Cait
It’s so beautiful. Yeah, I feel like this conversation is so, so important and so beautiful. So thank you for having and thank you for taking the time and for being such a bold beacon and example of how powerful it is to take the leap. You are just incredible. And I again, I just feel so blessed to be in your world and be in your corner and witness you just continue to take the bold leaps and rise because of it and ride through you know, the ups and downs that everything in between but to just create this beautiful art of success because of who you are and who you’ve decided to be. So hell yes to you, woman and you’re amazing. Thank you so much.

Amanda Kolbye
Well, thank you for having me and being in my corner for support.

Cait
Yes, of course. Alright guys, thank you for tuning in. Have a beautiful day. Let us know your takeaways and we’ll chat with you soon.