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Episode 102: Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Say The Things

Episode 102: Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Say The Things

Hello and welcome to today’s episode of the Born To Rise podcast. I’m your host Cait Scudder and today’s episode is going to be freaking liddy. I’m so excited about this. I just need to say to you right now that I’m going to be going off script a little bit with this one. 

I have not felt so passionate and so fired up about a topic in a really long time and the time is so perfect now for just so many reasons to be sharing this because I have been having iterations of this conversation with clients in literally every single one of the programs that I’m running right now. This is a topic that has come up in one form or another, be it on a group coaching call or a private coaching call. I know that there are entrepreneurs listening right now who needs to hear this as well. 

Don’t Let External Content Impact What You Have To Say

It’s about why you should not be afraid to say the things that you have to say even if other coaches are saying them. Even if other people are not saying them. Even if it is wildly popular to talk about even if it is wildly unpopular. What is happening –I’m just diving straight into it –what is happening out there should have zero impact on what you are bringing to the table. When I say what’s happening out there should have zero impact, I don’t mean don’t pay attention to your surroundings, don’t listen to your audience, don’t live under a rock and then just spews it from under that rock. 

That’s not what I mean when I say what’s happening out there the trends or the lack there of this is where we get messed up in entrepreneurship and quite frankly this is what creates watered down content. This is what creates watered down leaders, when we are so fixated and focused on what every other person is posting about, is creating reels on, is writing on their feeds. When we allow that to dictate and determine what we are quote unquote allowed to write about, what we give ourselves permission to speak about, what we feel is in our jurisdiction or authority to comment on. That’s where we go wrong is by taking other people’s content calendars, other people’s ideas, other people’s expressions and making that mean anything about what we are allowed to say. 

There is a huge difference and one of the things that I hear all the time from clients who are struggling with this. They will say, Oh, Cait I just had a client or one of my coaches or a colleague who’s in a program that I’m in or whatever that I’m paying attention to, they just started to talk about this, can I really do this? I had a client say this once like oh Marie Forleo just launched her copy cure course and I was going to do a course on content creation. Does this mean I should wait for another time to launch my copy course? And I was like Abso-freakin-lutely not.

Give Yourself Permission To Say Your Peace

Just because somebody else out there whether they are a Marie Forleo and multimillionaire business or they are a startup. No matter where they are in the spectrum, no matter what is going on out there that should not determine what you give yourself permission to say. Whether it is a piece of free content or it is a paid program that you are running. 

This is the vibe, this is the thing I want you to walk away with. Somebody else’s calendar, somebody else’s message, somebody else’s voice should have zero impact on what you give yourself permission to speak about.

One thing that I hear from clients –because most all of my clients are huge –I would say absolutely all of my clients are women of super high integrity. They are really conscious cognizant humans who are here to make a big impact and they’re not assholes, they’re not dicks, they don’t want to just see somebody else talking about something and hop on the back of it. 

What I say to them is there is a difference between plagiarism, copy pasting what somebody else is talking about, whether it’s verbatim or feeling like completely uninspired and so just copying what somebody else is saying there is a difference between plagiarism and sourcing a message that is really alive and true for you. And I think that it is up to every individual person. 

This is what I say to my clients, when they say, Oh, well, I don’t really want to launch this because Marie Forleo is launching this, or I saw XYZ person that I follow on Instagram post about radiants, or post about leadership or post about risk or power or sales or mindset or any of these concepts. I say to them, do you think that that person owns that topic? Does that person have a copyright? 

The Difference Between Copying And Inspiration

Unless you’re freaking Entrepreneur Magazine, who’s suing other entrepreneurs for using the word entrepreneur, we’re not going to go down that route, because I have some thoughts about that. But  nobody owns these words. I started using the word in 2017. I started my facebook group, it was called the Radiant Woman Leader. And then I changed it to The Radiant Entrepreneur very shortly thereafter. And I have been talking for the last four years about Radiants, about taking the risk, I have a TED talk called Rising As A Risk, do it anyway, rise, power, permission, permission to rise, like these are phrases that I’ve been using, for so long.

And I remember getting triggered by seeing other people start to use some of the words that I’m talking about. And I’m sure we’ve all heard copying is the biggest form of flattery or something like that. And partially I hear that and partially, I think, well, no copying is copying. And that should be illegal. And you have copyright law for this exact reason. But here’s the thing, right? I think some of these things get really mucked up and muddled together. 

And I see so many powerful women doubt themselves out of being an original because they see somebody else being an original of themselves. If you are, let’s just say this, if you are a life coach, and you’re talking about self trust, you’re talking about authenticity, you’re talking about alignment, or your money mindset coach and you talk about abundance consciousness, you talk about wealth, you talk about quantum leaping, if you’re a business coach, and you talk about energy, and you talk about strategy, and you talk about leadership, and you talk about content, if you are a self love coach, and you talk about radiance, and you talk about embodiment, and you talk about any of these words, right? You are going to see other people in your niche in your space, talk about that, those things. 

How To Bring Your Power Back To Your Content

That does not mean homegirls copying you, that does not mean homegirl is trying to steal your magic. Let’s bring the power right back ladies. Only you can express yourself in the way that you are here . Only you are going to talk about that concept and the unique iteration and utterance that you can bring forward. Nobody else can copy that. There is going to be overlap in the things that you speak about and the things that you create free content around and the things that you create paid content around if you do similar work to somebody else. 

Let’s just say that straight up that there is a difference between plagiarism, like taking somebody else’s stories and trying to make them yours. Taking somebody else’s educational posts and putting your name on that as your own lesson okay? Like that shit is not ethical. That shit is copying, that shit is plagiarism. 

There is a difference between that and having concepts that you expound upon and expand upon in your content and in your paid programs that touch on similar things that are part of the course. That is to be expected. If you have other people in your niche in your industry, writing and doing similar things. One of the things that I really see women cut themselves off with and it makes me really, really just sad and frustrated is seeing so many women –and I think women more than men and probably good hearted women more than anybody else –tend to do this as we default. 

It’s kind of like going to a Whole Foods bar and you both want the last piece of bread, not that anyone orders bread at a Whole Foods bar. But you know what I mean? And it’s like, oh, no, no, you can have it. No, you can have it. No, you can have it. And we like to do this thing where we barter ourselves out of our power. We default. Oh, you said the thing about messaging. I guess I i can’t talk about messaging or use of the thing about sales or you have a program around content, I guess I can’t post about content or you said the word rising, I guess I can’t write the word rising, right? I hear women say these things in process again and this is just like with so much love and I have been there myself I get it I’ve done the same thing.

The Scarcity Mindset

And what I’ve come to realize is it is such scarcity thinking to think that me writing about or speaking about a topic means you can’t. I cover so many different topics. I teach and coach around everything ranging from energy mindset, strategy, sales, planning, personal power, leadership,owning your worth, owning your space at the table, rising against adversity, taking the risk, giving yourself permission to shine. Any of these concepts. It is such scarcity thinking to think that because somebody else has spoken about expresses about has created programs about a thing that there is no more room for you. 

My invitation to you is how can you turn your thinking and turn your perception around to wow this is a thing that is out in the field right now. This is a thing that is being talked about. Let that be evidence for how necessary and needed your voice is in the broader conversation, how necessary and needed your voice. Only you are going to speak about and talk about your unique angle, your unique gift, your unique expression as it relates to that thing. 

Why There Is Always Space For You At The Table

I remember in 2018 I was in Italy, and I had just figured out or found out who Rachel Hollis was. Somebody had put me on to her and I was like wow this chicks cool. I followed her instagram account, I was connected to her contem in some way and somebody shared a podcast episode with her and this was just around the time that I was getting ready to launch my podcast Born To Rise. I remember seeing that her podcast was called Rise With Rachel Hollis and I nearly burst into tears. 

I remember feeling like, no, rise, that’s my word, that’s my thing and feeling like oh my god I literally have to cancel my show. I’ve paid a podcast editor to record my intro and outro I’ve gotten it all set up I’ve paid a podcast team to you know to register my podcast and now I can’t have my podcast called Born To Rise because Rachel Hollis, who’s a bigger name than me who’s a bigger brand than me has called her podcast rise so there’s no more space for me at the table. Womp womp womp. 

It’s like so laughable to me now but I’m sharing this story with you because I know what it feels like to be hit with a big voice and a big personality and a big presence is using this word or is speaking in this way or is talking about this thing in this way so that must mean that there is no more room for me. Ladies, first of all, do you think that Rachel Hollis gave a flying fuck that I had a podcast called Born To Rise? No. She was gonna continue to put out her content. She probably doesn’t even know who I am. She was going to continue to put out her content. She was going to continue to do her thing irrespective of anybody else using that word. 

I have seen this so many times both of in myself being like oh well this person talked about these things. Remember Janet wrote about being imperfect and vulnerability and those things and being like oh and I also remember you know so many times reading Brene Brown and getting like so annoyed that Brene Brown had a book called Dare To Lead or Daring Greatly and just being like oh this dare, that was my acronym for my first program. Or Dare To Lead, I was going to have a book called Dare To Rise and talk all about leadership in that book but now I can’t even write content around that, let alone think about writing a book around that. 

There Is Nothing New Under The Sun

What I’ve come to realize is like I said before, if you are doing similar work to somebody. Hemingway that says there’s nothing new under the sun. And yet, how many novels in the world have been written around similar themes: love, trust, family, infidelity, desire, lust, any of these like topics. Those are the major substance pieces of any great work of art. There is nothing new under the sun. And yet, there are infinite new ways of expression, to talk about, to teach, to entertain, to educate about any of these things. 

There it is all on the cards, there’s infinite combinations of words and expressions, and there’s actually no freaking way that any other person is going to be able to teach, educate, entertain, inspire, no matter what your industry is, no matter what your objective is, with the content, both free and paid, that you’re putting out, no buddy else is going to be able to talk about that thing in the way that you can talk about it. 

So if you have been giving yourself this story around, well, this person said this, or talks about this, or has a program called this. So it’s now off limits to me. I want you to free both yourself and that person that you’re comparing yourself to. You’re taking permission away from yourself. I want you to free both of you from this scarcity thinking that there is only enough space for one person at the table. There is infinite space for everyone at the table. 

The fact that that topic, that theme is alive and present in the field simply means it’s alone in present in the field. And my invitation is to use your unique utterance, your unique expression, your unique truth, your unique need to talk about that thing to create a program around that thing. Only you know where that’s coming from, if that’s coming from things that are alive and coming up for you and your work alive and coming up from you and your clients alive out of your own soul and creative imaginings in the way that you want to bring forward. If that is where it is coming from, then you have zero reason to be afraid to say the things that you have to say. And if you feel like it’s worth examining, I think it’s always worth examining, but if you feel like hmm, where is this coming from? Oh, maybe I am taking a page out of somebody else’s book. Because I can’t really think of anything else to say, then that’s something to look at. And something to say like, hang on, why am I feeling like I need to take somebody else’s thing, in order to have something to say? 

My invitation is go deeper what do you actually have to say, without needing to piggyback on somebody else’s thing? What do you really freaking want to say, okay, and only you are going to know the difference. It’s not for anybody else, your partner, your coach, your mentor, anyone else to say that you need to do that inner examination and decide where is this desire to express coming from. 

If any mentor or any person that you are in a container with, that you’re learning from, that you are rising alongside, should be reflecting back to you your own power to you not telling you what you have to say, not telling you, Hey, this is what you have to do. But showing you Hey, this is the power of your freaking voice, it’s time to activate it, it’s time to use it. Because only you and you alone can do that. Only you and you alone can use your voice to lead the movement that you’re here to lead inside of one of my programs. 

Seeing Yourself As The Leader Of A Movement

I’m not actually here to talk about Nailing Your Niche, but inside one of my programs, Nailing Your Niche, which I created in 2018. I didn’t realize I was going to talk about this. But here we are. In the first module of Nailing Your Niche, the whole first module is about defining and understanding the problems that you sell for your people. 

One of the things that I invite people to do and this is just like blowing the concept of niching up on its head straight away. In Module One is not looking at yourself as being the solution giver to a problem. But looking at yourself as the leader of a movement and the niche and the industry that you’re in is so much greater than just picking this is the problem I’m going to solve. No. 

What movement are you here to lead? When we get into this space of oh well somebody else is saying this and I can’t really say this, you have completely and utterly given up that power and that ability to see yourself as the leader of a movement. You are looking at yourself as somebody who has to raise their hand like a good girl and ask permission. Hey, is it okay if I say this thing?

Leaders of movements don’t ask permission. They don’t ask permission from a teacher, from a mentor, from anybody or whether it’s okay for them to say the thing that they’re here to say. They know they can’t not say the thing that they have to say even if somebody else is talking about it. And if you’re quoting somebody else that you have learned from, give them credit. Tag them in your freaking stories or your posts. 

If you’re using a line from somewhere that you’ve read, I’ve done that so many times like somebody that you’ve read from you know if you’re talking about vulnerability and you were inspired by something Brene Brown has said or you’re you’re talking about leadership you’re talking about creativity and you’re inspired by something Elizabeth Gilbert has said, tag them!

That is totally freaking fine but it doesn’t mean that you can add your expression about that thing in the way that you write okay leaders and and you know really powerful creatives are constantly feeding themselves with new information. They’re taking in mentorship, they’re taking in creative direction, they’re taking in other pieces of art other pieces of creative expression and all of that is informing as well as like living their own lives and doing the things that light them up and fill their cup and ignite their own unique creativity and all of this provides like this beautiful hodgepodge of influx of new ideas information inspiration. 

All of that is going to be at play inside of all of us at any given time encouraging us to create, to express, to put out there what it is that we’re here to say. My invitation to you is to trust yourself, trust what is alive and present for you and give yourself permission. You don’t need it from your coach, you don’t need it from your clients, you don’t need it from anybody. 

If this podcast is literally just giving you the permission slip you needed to not need a fucking permission slip ever again. Great. I’ve done my job. You don’t need a permission slip from anyone to have a voice and an opinion and a platform to share that opinion on. You don’t need to default ask. Imagine if every fucking business coach asked Marie Forleo if it was okay if they started talking about business. She would be on the floor with so many DMs. 

This is not about needing to ask somebody else permission to say the things. Leaders don’t do that shit. We say the things because we can’t not say them. We tell our stories We can’t not say them because they are real and alive and true because the service that we are here to bring in here to give is to bring that forward. So remember there is infinite space for everybody’s voice. 

Do your own internal integrity check to make sure that what you want to say in what you want to contribute is authentic and original. If it’s not, just have a look at that. Have a look at why you don’t feel like you can trust your own unique utterance. If what you want to say and talk about is circulating and in other people’s content, in other people’s sales calendars –like eyes on your own fucking lane. Eyes on your own work. Eyes on what you are here to do. 

Just because your coach is launching a program around sales and you also teach around sales doesn’t mean you have to delete that out of your product suite. It doesn’t mean you have to change your launch schedule, it doesn’t mean you have to compete with them. This fear around saying that things all come back to scarcity based thinking, it all comes back to thinking somebody owns concepts.There’s only enough clients or space for one person to talk about XYZ thing. And guys, it’s just straight up not true. Let that scarcity based thinking, go out of your system. Okay, let it go, let it go, let it go. 

The vibe and the energy to cultivate is there. There is infinite space for all of us to play in this game. There’s infinite space for other women who also do what I do to speak their truth to be fully expressed, to be fully embodied, to be fully emboldened to say the fucking things that they have to say. And for me to do the same. I don’t need to wait until they’re done doing their thing. 

In order for me to go, I get to operate to the beat of my own drum, I get to operate to the beat of my own goddamn sales calendar. And I get to talk about what I’m here to freaking say, because I am a leader. And because I can’t, not because I am, me. And because nobody else, not even my coach, not even XYZ person, nobody else is going to do it the way that I can do it. And I’m doing a disservice to the people who are waiting to hear from me. 

Let me know what you guys think of this episode. There’s so much here, this is such an alive and present thing. And this is one of the major pieces when talking about launching and mindset in comparison that comes up in just all these different ways in the work that I do day to day. It’s been super present in the last couple of months, and with so many different clients, and it’s something that I just felt I needed to be ripped on a bit. 

Muzzled: Express Yourself Without Fear

So let me know your thoughts in the DM, send me a DM on Instagram and let me know. And lastly, if this is something that you want to dive into, you want to dive into how to and muzzle your unique expression and turn up the freaking volume on speaking your mind and leading the pack. You need to join me for my workshop on Muzzled which is happening on April 8, if you’re in the States, April 9, if you’re here in Australia. 

Muzzled, this is going to be the most lit AF workshop I have ever offered. It is also the most inexpensive way that I have offered literally in the last three years to work with me in a live coaching setting. This is a 90 minute workshop on Muzzling. We’re breaking the rules, we’re speaking the mind, we’re leading the pack. This is all about activating your inner lioness, we’re going to be diving into what that archetype means and how to actually get unleashed and and Muzzled and what you are here to freaking say, how you are here to freaking express how you are here to lead with benevolence with permission without fear of taking up space. And with doing so in such a potent and powerful and unmistakable way that is unique to you and you alone. And the only way to do that is by getting muzzled and so if you have been waiting for an opportunity to work with me, I have been just getting so many beautiful DMS from you guys who listened to this show about ways to work with me that aren’t a multi five figure investment. 

This is a $97 workshop. It is accessible for everybody. If that feels out of reach for you send me a DM I want every single person and their mom inside of this. You’ve got $97 to be here if you need help with this topic with this essence with this energy of and muzzling yourself because it’s two parts, right? It’s the inner work, it’s the energetics, it’s the confidence, it’s unlocking all of those pieces, both from like a theoretical place and then actually the practices to unlock those inner pieces right so this is what we’re diving into in the workshop is both of these the internal work, both the theory and the practice. Of that internal work, and then the external work how to get on muzzled in your messaging in your marketing in the way that you speak the way that you create. 

Okay, there’s two pieces to this, this is what makes content that is just like jaw dropping and magnetic and like, give me more, give me more right. The way that you do that you guys is by getting on muzzled and it’s a two part process. It’s not just about  creating super sexy copy and here’s the spreadsheet for that. I do have spreadsheets for that. And actually, we’re giving you the bonus for that as one of the bonuses for signing up. 

Muzzled is literally the templates that I use and have used and that my high level paying clients get for that and these are copy templates that I’ve used to have upwards of half a million dollar launches. So you get that as well. But before you can go on to doing that you need to get on muzzled internally first. And this is where so many people get caught up this is why so many people buy programs around content and around marketing and around messaging and around offer creation and all of that stuff and still feel like fuck, Why isn’t this working? It’s because they haven’t done the inner work, the foundational work first to actually make that on muzzling. Make sense. 

So join me inside of Muzzled. We are activating the inner lioness and I am so freaking excited to have you here. Link is in my bio on Instagram. We’re also going to put the link in the show notes. I’m so freaking excited and I can’t wait to have you. Thank you guys so much for tuning into this episode and I will see you all on here next week. Any questions about on muzzled? Send me a DM

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Hey, I'm Cait!

Boss mama, wife, and 7-figure CEO empowering women to build profitable, purpose-driven businesses that change the world.

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